


Tomorrow will not be a better day

by taywin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Child Abuse, De-Aged Severus Snape, Evil Albus Dumbledore, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23882146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taywin/pseuds/taywin
Summary: Severus is de-aged and not useful as a spy anymore, so Albus wants to make him useful. But he needs him broken first, and he knows the perfect person for that.
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy & Severus Snape, Narcissa Black Malfoy & Severus Snape, Severus Snape & Voldemort, Severus Snape/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 219
Kudos: 221





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a dark fic. It will contain the rape of a child. Please heed the tags, because things will get worse before getting better.

Albus sighed, looking from the stack of papers on his desk, to the two owls waiting for him. 

He was just arriving from Harry’s hearing, and his plan was to put the fresh memory in the pensieve and see if he had missed something. A gesture, a little scratch on the left arm, anything that gave away a new death eater. But he needed to prioritise, and new death eaters weren’t important enough. 

“Hello, Fawkes,” he said to the caged phoenix and extended his hand to one of the owls, “and hello to you too.” 

He took the letter from its leg and, seeing it was from the Ministry, put it aside. The owl flew through the window as the other got closer. This one was from Kingsley and brought the report about the aurors. He gave the owl a treat and sat behind his desk. He would start with Kingsley’s report, but first he needed to save the memory to watch it later. 

Opening a small bottle he kept in the drawer of his desk, he closed his eyes and thought in the recent events. His wand touched his head, and little by little, he extracted the memory. He put it in the bottle and closed it, leaving it in the corner of his desk. If he was lucky, it wouldn’t be long until he could watch it. 

Someone knocked softly at the door and Albus smiled. He knew who was in the other side. 

“Come in, Severus.” 

Severus entered, walking slowly and nodding at him. He was still in his death eater robes, but his hands weren’t trembling as other times. A good sign. There was no cruciatus this time. 

“I am arriving from a meeting.” 

“I am aware of that,” said Albus with a kind smile. “Did Tom say something interesting this time?” 

The potion master shook his head. “A long motivational speech. Although a little overshadowed by the cruciatus.” 

Albus took another bottle from the drawer and gave it to Severus, who put his memory there. 

“Plans? Deaths?” 

“No, nothing useful.” 

“I would like to watch the memory with you later, so we can make sure we do not miss anything.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Take off your clothes, please,” he said, standing from his seat and walking to his side. 

“Headmaster, I do not think this is necessary anymore.” 

Almost by the end of the first war, Albus had caught Severus in a lie. Or, better said, holding back information. The potion master had not told him he had been punished with a whipping and Albus later learnt about it looking at the memories. 

Albus saw it as an opportunity. From that day on, Severus had to remove his clothes after every meeting so Albus could check with his own eyes he wasn’t hurt. Albus had really missed it, no longer having an excuse to see the potion master naked when the war was over. Because even if he wasn’t as attractive as he was when he was young, there was still innocence in the way Severus blushed. 

“You understand this wouldn’t be happening if you had not lied to me, don’t you?” He said, waving his hand with impatience. “I have other things to do, Severus.” 

The blush of embarrassment coloured Severus’ cheeks as he took off his death eater robes. As always, there was nothing except his pants under it — Voldemort would kill him if he learnt Severus was wearing muggle clothes. 

Adjusting his half-moon glasses, Albus bent over to examine every inch of the potion master. He started with his back, running his finger over past scars and stretching the skin as to confirm there were no new injuries. His mouth was almost touching him, and Albus knew Severus could feel his warm breath. Every once in a while, he blew softly near the spine, licking his lips when the other man shivered. 

Going to the front, Albus does the same. He checked his face, his neck, his chest — Albus made sure his mouth was close to his nipple as he let out a sigh — his legs, feet and between his fingers. 

He was crouched, his face at the same height as Severus’ crotch and a hand resting on his thigh to keep balance. “Had he ever tried a sexual approach?” 

Severus’ eyes widened. He shook his head, his face red. 

“Should I check?” 

“No!” 

He hummed as deciding what to do. Severus’ body was betraying him, and Albus had the perfect view of that. “I will take your word on this.” 

Severus sighed in relief. “Thank you, headmaster.” 

Albus picked up the robes from the floor and helped Severus to dress. He knows how humiliated he felt, yet he didn’t move. Merlin, how he wished Severus had been so submissive when he was a teenager. 

But the boy wasn’t. Despite being the perfect victim — abused at home and with parents who didn’t care — Severus knew his rights. 

He remembered an afternoon in his first year, when Albus had finally plucked up the courage to do it. He was going to start slowly, a simple spanking, but something gave him away and before even mentioning it, Severus reminded him corporal punishment was forbidden. 

Looking back, he had been lucky. Severus didn’t know his real intentions. He thought Albus was going to slap him, as he had confessed one afternoon, drinking tea in Albus’ office. Had he known what Albus had prepared for him, he would have told Malfoy or one of his adult friends. 

Lucius Malfoy. He really hated that man. It was because of him Severus was so hard to break. A trusted adult who really cared, and who was powerful enough to get him in troubles if he tried something. 

“Do not lie to me again, Severus. I just worry about your wellbeing. 

“Yes, headmaster,” said Severus, avoiding his eyes. Without a goodbye, he turned around and left. 

Albus couldn’t hold back a chuckle, going to his quarters and spelling his clothes away. Kingsley’s report could wait, he had more important business to attend. 

* * *

Severus exited the shower and dried himself off. The cold water had helped to calm him down after his uncomfortable talk with Dumbledore. He could still feel the hands of the headmaster touching him, but he could only blame himself. If he had not lied, Dumbledore would know he was capable of taking care of himself. 

He hated how his body reacted to the touch, and a couple of times he wondered if the headmaster did it on purpose. A look in the mirror answered him. Nobody would touch him if they didn’t have to. He had made sure of that. 

Fastening the buttons of his robes with a spell, he left his quarters and went to the potion lab. There were a couple of potions he was improving and working on them would help him to relax. He needed it if he wanted to face Dumbledore that afternoon. 

The desk in the potion lab was a mess. Every summer he promised himself he would be more organised, and every summer he failed. He shook his head, if the students only knew. But during the term he didn’t have time to experiment. His mind didn’t work faster than his hand, and he didn’t have to reach for a new parchment before the idea left his head. During the term, teaching and keeping the students alive took up his time. 

He hated his job. He hated Hogwarts. The place was nothing but a reminder of the hell he had to go through as a teenager. But his opinion didn’t matter. Dumbledore and the Dark Lord wanted him there. 

While the water was heating up in the cauldron, he gathered the notes and ingredients for the potion he was working on. It was a healing potion that would regrow limbs when dark magic was involved. He managed to find half of his notes before having to add the first ingredients. 

Hoping he didn’t forget some important warning in the chaos of his desk, he started to stir the potion. He had to wait until the fumes were slightly blue before adding next ingredient. It was relaxing, and his mind wandered off to the death eater meeting. 

It was a meaningless meeting, as if the Dark Lord just wanted to remind them he was still there. It had been a while since he brought useful information to the order. Perhaps the humiliations of Dumbledore had something to do with that. The headmaster was probably angry at him, but couldn’t openly blame him because it wasn’t his fault the Dark Lord didn’t discuss his plans with him. 

Adding next ingredients absently, he wondered what would think the Dark Lord about Dumbledore’s actions. He had never commented with anyone those “check-ups”. It was embarrassing, and no one would do anything anyway. The Dark Lord wouldn’t care, as long as he gave him the information. And it wasn’t as if Dumbledore had tried to do something to him. He always acted professionally, never asking him to remove his undergarments and never touching where he shouldn’t. 

He looked at the potion, noticing the colour wasn’t right. Frowning, he glanced at the jars and bottles he had at his side, paling when he saw the bottle with unicorn tears was empty. He added too much in the wrong time. 

Turning off the fire, he ran to the door, knowing it was already too late. The last he heard was an explosion and then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Albus was finishing with Kingsley’s report when the danger alarm went off. A painting informed him of fire in the dungeons. Only Severus and he remained at the school, so it was safe to assume the fire started in the potion lab. He apparated outside the place — one of the perks of being the headmaster — and opened the door carefully. 

A spell cleared the smoke and he entered, looking for his potion master, only to find a child lying on the floor. The clothes were too big to be his, but Albus would recognise that child anywhere, and the clothes were, in fact, his. 

Kneeling at his side, Albus confirmed Severus was alive. He had some burns on the face and body, but his breathing was steady and his pulse strong. 

He felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. It was one more problem. He couldn’t send Severus to Voldemort as a child. The dark wizard would likely kill him, but not before reading his mind. The wisest thing would be to kill him, yet… 

He unbuttoned the potion master’s robes with his wand. He was wearing shirt and trousers under it, though the trousers were tangled around his ankles. The shirt barely covered his thighs and Albus couldn’t resist. His hand slipped under the shirt, and fondled the boy’s groin. 

Severus was the forbidden fruit, and Albus had wanted to taste him for years. He was too scared to try anything when he was younger, and later they needed a spy. He couldn’t risk. 

But now Severus wasn’t useful as a spy anymore, and he was more beautiful than ever. 

How old would he be? Eight? Nine? It didn’t matter. He was perfect. And this time there was no Lucius Malfoy to stop him. 

His eyes landed on Severus' wand. He wouldn't be using it anytime soon, but Albus would keep it — if Severus was good, he might allow him to use it every once in a while. 

Severus stirred and Albus had just enough time to take his hand from under the shirt and pocket the wand before he opened his eyes. 

“Headmaster?” Asked the boy trying to sit. 

Albus licked his lip. His title was perfect coming from the boy’s lips. He loved how submissive his voice sounded, something he could only dream when Severus was younger. 

He helped him to sit down. “My boy, you gave me quite a scare.” 

“What happened?” 

“You had an accident.” Albus summoned a mirror and gave it to Severus. “Look at yourself.” 

Severus stared in surprise, touching his face as if to confirm it was really him. “Can’t be” 

“I am afraid it is,” said Dumbledore, taking back the mirror. “I was trying to take off your clothes so I could heal you.” 

“It’s just a few burns. I can do it myself.” Severus looked around. “Where is my wand?” 

“My boy, if you do not have it with you, it means you lost it in the fire.” 

Severus searched desperately in his clothes, his lower lip quivering. “I cannot find it.” 

“Let me heal you, and then I will help you to look for it," said Albus taking pity of the boy and thanking his luck. The potion did more than just change Severus’ body. "You hardly will find anything in this mess.” 

Severus nodded, biting his lower lip. They struggled with the tangled trousers, removing them with Albus’ wand in the end. The shirt was easier to take off, and the headmaster’s dreams became true. Severus was completely naked in front of him. 

Albus chuckled when he potion master covered himself with his hands. It was too late. Albus saw everything he wanted to see. "I do not know how do you expect me to heal your arms and chest like that." 

Severus bit his lip harder, his face red. "Can't you... can't you start with the face or something?" 

"Close your eyes, it might sting a little," said Albus, smiling pleased when Severus obeyed immediately. 

His happiness only lasted until the spell touched Severus’ face. The potion master stepped back with a pained grimace, glaring at him. 

"It hurts." 

"I know, Severus, but it must be done. Now, get back here and stand still." 

This time Severus hesitated before obeying. He didn’t like that. Severus had to obey blindly at him. Albus wasn’t a monster, he would never rape Severus. 

With a hand squeezing tightly the boy’s shoulder, he whispered the spell. Severus tried to move away not five seconds later. Albus’ hand held him in place and, for a moment, he thought he was going to resign to his fate. 

He was wrong. Severus' hands went to his wrist trying to move his wand away. The hand on his shoulder went to prison his wrists, and Severus used the moment to jerk away. 

The wand passed dangerously close to his eyes. Without thinking it, he smacked Severus across the face. The stupid brat almost harm himself. Almost harm _his_ property. What was he supposed to do if the boy scarred his face? 

"You have any idea how dangerous was that, Severus? You could lose an eye.” Albus huffed when the boy shook his head and moved away from him. “Come back here so we can finish this." 

Severus kept shaking his head with tears in his eyes. The training was not complete, and Albus had to do something about it. Severus needed to learn that the headmaster was the best master for him. He had to choose him, just as he did with Voldemort. 

He would have to break Severus, so he could mould him in the way he wanted. And he had the perfect person for the job. 

"Severus, I am sorry for hitting you," he said in a softer voice, "but you scared me. You really could lose an eye. I know it hurts, that is why burn victims are usually sedated. I know you don't like being sedated, but if you prefer it..." 

"No, I am sorry." Severus moved closer. "I will be still." 

"Do you want me to tie your hands or a freezing spell?" He asked kindly, already knowing what the boy would choose. 

"I- I don't think..." Started Severus nervous. 

"It is necessary, Severus." 

"Okay,” he said biting his lip and lowering his gaze. Albus didn’t need to be a genius to know what he was thinking: this was all his fault. “I don't want the freezing spell." 

Albus took both wrist and bound them behind his back with a spell. Once again, he cast the spell, this time silent tears as only reaction. That is how he wanted him. Totally exposed and taking whatever Albus gave him. 

“What are you thinking?” Asked Albus when he saw him frowning. His wand was now pointing his leg. 

“That I am an idiot who lost his wand.” 

"My boy, you were just distracted. Accidents happen all the time." Albus untied his arms and looked for burns. "Don't be so—" 

“What?” 

Albus eyes froze in the left forearm, clean of any tattoo. Severus was free now. Free to choose him. 

Severus looked at his arm. A smile formed on his face. It was a smile Albus never saw before. Absolute happiness. This time Albus didn’t get angry because Severus moved. The boy was hugging him, a tight hug he never would have imagined coming from Severus. 

The boy broke the hug, looking at the floor, clearly embarrassed. “Sorry.” 

“There is nothing to be sorry about,” said Albus, ruffling his hair, glad Severus didn’t try to cover himself anymore. 

“It’s gone,” said Severus, looking at his arm and smiling again. “The dark mark is gone.” 

“Turn around,” said Albus and Severus doesn’t complain. “We need to talk about your living arrangements.” 

“Living arrangements?” Severus looked over his shoulder. “What do you mean?” 

“You cannot stay here,” said Albus, rubbing a hand over the lower back, as if to soothe the pain. “We are done.” Severus faced him again. “Your reactions are the ones of a child. You know this potion not only affected your body.” 

“But headmaster. It is just temporary. I can work in my cure—” 

“You deserve to be happy, Severus. You deserve to have a childhood. If you return to your old self, the mark will return too.” 

Severus hesitated before answering. “I will be able to spy again.” 

“I’d rather you were happy,” said Albus kindly, “but you cannot stay here. I do not have the time to take care of you and I can let you on your own as a child.” 

Severus crossed his arm over his chest. “Then I will work in my cure.” 

“I will not let a child to brew potions. You caused an accident as an adult. I do not want to imagine what you will do as a child,” Albus explained patiently. 

“And what are you going to do? Drop me off in an orphanage?” Spat Severus. 

Albus gave him a grandfatherly smile. That disrespectful attitude would be fixed soon enough. “Of course not. I was thinking of your mother.” 

“My mother hates me. She wants nothing to do with me,” said Severus stomping a foot. 

He shook his head. He was really dealing with a child. “She doesn’t hate you, Severus. I am sure she will be grateful of having a second chance with you.” 

Severus snorted. “She abandoned me, Dumbledore. That is how much she loves me.” 

“I am sorry you have to go through that, but it’s been twenty years. I regret things I did twenty years ago and I would do anything to change them.” 

“I want the orphanage.” 

“You are just being stubborn. And you well know it is too dangerous to leave you in an orphanage. Voldemort will look for you.” Albus sighed as in defeat. He knew what card play to convince Severus. “If you really do not want this, I guess I could ask Sirius—” 

“I’ll take my chances with my mother,” Severus rushed to say. “If you can convince her.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning: Rape of a child in this chapter.**

Severus huffed once again to express his discontent. At his side, Dumbledore chuckled quietly, leading him by the hand to the only house for miles around. It was his mother’s house. Severus knew the place from Lucius’ description. A multi-coloured picket fence surrounding a large white house, swings outside and a dog barking in the distance. He thought he would be interested in her wellbeing when she married again. Severus had snapped at him, making clear he didn’t care about the woman. 

“Looks like a nice place to grow up,” Dumbledore commented. 

Severus growled. It didn’t help his mood that Dumbledore treated him like an actual child, holding his hand as they walked. Or not having his wand with him. Now he would be defenceless with his mother’s new husband. 

His heart still hurt when he remembered it. Dumbledore and he looked everywhere. His wand wasn’t there and after one hour, they had to conclude it had burned in the fire. 

The fire. Every time he thought of that, he felt an itch in his brain, as if he were forgetting something. He didn’t remember much from before the accident. Something about unicorn’s tears. Perhaps he put too many, or too little. He couldn’t be sure, but he remembered he tried to reach the door, knowing the potion was going to explode. 

They stood at the door and Dumbledore pushed the bell. A woman opened it as if she were expecting them on the other side. Despite how much she changed, Severus recognised his mother. 

Expensive robes, healthy skin, make up and well-manicured hands, it was clear she was doing well. She was still skinny, but not as much as she was when she lived with Tobias. 

“Professor Dumbledore,” she greeted the headmaster, not acknowledging him. “Please, come in.” 

“It is Albus, dear,” said Dumbledore, entering with Severus. “How are you?” 

“Albus,” said a man walking to them and hugging Dumbledore, “what a pleasant surprise.” 

Severus frowned. Dumbledore knew them from before. That was why he was so confident that they would accept. 

The man knelt in front of him. “And who is the little one?” 

“Severus is your wife’s son,” answered Dumbledore instead of him, “he had an accident, and he is young again.” 

Eileen’s husband grinned and extended his hand. “I think that makes me your stepdad. You can call me Robert, or dad.” 

“I already have a father,” he said coldly, but shook the hand anyway. 

Robert’s smile didn’t waver. He ruffled his hair as he stood and invited them to sit. Something was off about that man, and his instinct told him to run, but he reminded himself the alternative was Black. 

“May I offer you anything?” Asked his mother. “Elf-wine perhaps?” 

“That would be wonderful, dear,” said Dumbledore, “Severus will take some pumpkin juice.” 

Severus glared at Dumbledore, even though he knew he was right. His child-body couldn’t handle alcohol. 

They went into the sitting room. There were two white armchairs, a large leather sofa, a TV and a bar in the corner. No paintings, no fireplace. He looked around confused. It wasn’t usual for a magical house not to be connected to the floo network. 

“Is there a problem, Severus?” Asked Robert. 

“Where is the fireplace?” 

“We have a special room for calls.” 

That explained it, but it still left Severus with an uneasy feeling. That place seemed perfect to kill someone. Easy to clean with the right potions or spells and no witness. 

“You have electricity,” he said, looking at the TV. 

“No, it works with a spell. Of course, we are too isolated to receive TV reception, but we used it to see movies.” Robert put a small black box into a sloth under the TV. Suddenly, the drawing of a cat appeared on the screen. “The kids loved Disney movies.” 

Severus didn’t know what he was talking about, but he watched fascinated how the pictures moved. He heard Dumbledore and Robert’s chuckling but he didn’t care. This was new for him, and it seemed incredible it was a muggle invention. 

The TV was turned off. 

“How may we help you, professor?” Asked Eileen sitting in the free armchair and lowering her wand.

Severus noticed Dumbledore and Robert had their glasses in their hands, not really surprised there was nothing for him. 

“It is about Severus’ accident. He needs a place to stay. The accident not only made him younger, his brain also works as a child most of the time.” 

“No,” said Eileen before her husband could talk. “He is not staying here.” 

“Severus is a good kid, he will not give you any trouble.” Dumbledore was looking at Robert. “It would be temporary, until we find a cure.” 

Eileen was going to say something but her husband held up a hand. “We will be happy to do it, headmaster. To be honest, the house feels a little empty since Randall left.” He turned to Severus, the disturbing smile still on his face. “Randall is your brother. The youngest one. He graduated this year and is travelling around the world.” 

Severus nodded, because it was the right thing to do. Perhaps the man just wanted to be nice, and there was nothing wrong with him. His instinct was failing, and anything was better than Black. 

“Severus brought some shrunk clothes, but I will send new ones tomorrow.” 

“If Severus agrees, I can give him some of the children’s old clothes. I am sure we will find something that fits.” 

Severus nodded again. It was a waste of money to buy new clothes. It would only be for a short time. As soon as he had access to a potion lab, he would brew a cure. 

They walked Dumbledore to the door, who knelt in front of him before leaving. “I will try to visit. Try to be good.” 

“You are not thinking in hugging me, are you?” He said lifting an eyebrow. 

“I wouldn’t dare,” said Albus, standing and ruffling his hair. “Thank you again, Robert. And thanks to you too, Ellie.” 

Eileen gave him a fake smile, and Dumbledore left. 

“Go with your mother to the kitchen, Severus. She will prepare you something to eat and then we will show you your room.” 

Eileen gripped his shoulder and took him to the kitchen. It was painful, but not too much to complain about it. He had been under cruciatus, he could resist his mother’s abuse for a while. 

When they arrived to the kitchen, he sat at the table to wait. It was a wooden table, with names carved into it. He ran his finger over them. Bobby, Randall, and there was another on the other side he couldn’t read. The real children. Those who weren’t a mistake. 

“Eat,” said Eileen, setting a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him. 

He hated eggs and Eileen knew it. But he wasn’t a child anymore. He was thirty-five. He had been in Azkaban. She was going to have to do better if she wanted to hurt him. 

Severus took a bite of his eggs, recognising the Sleeping Draught as soon as it touched his tongue. 

He spat them back on his plate. “Do you want to fucking drug me? What is wrong with you?” 

She slapped him. “Eat.” 

“Fuck you!” He yelled, jumping out of the chair and running to the door. His instinct didn’t fail, and Black wasn’t such a bad idea. 

Someone grabbed him by the hair and dragged him to the sitting room. He was thrown in the sofa, Robert getting closer dangerously. His mother watched coldly from a corner with her arms crossed over her chest. He had to get out of there, or something worse than death would happen. 

“You should have eaten the food, Severus. It would make things easier for you.” 

Severus jumped from the sofa and sprinted to the open door. As a cruel joke, it slammed shut when he was about to cross it. Tears filled his eyes as he struggled with the doorknob, trying to open it with wandless magic. 

Robert laughed cruelly. “Don’t even try with your pathetic attempt of magic, Severus. There are wards that prevent you to escape. Now, be good and come here.” 

Severus shook his head. The only place to hide was the bar, and his mother stood in front of it. With tears streaming down his face, he looked at her, begging her with his eyes to do something. With an amused smirk, she poured herself a drink and raised her glass as if toasting. Severus felt like choking. 

Robert grabbed him and he started to fight again. As he carried him to the sofa, Severus scratched and bit him, and a few times he was about to free himself. But in the end, Severus was just a child, too weak to defend himself. He didn’t know when he lost his clothes, or when Robert unbuttoned his trousers. He only realised when Robert thrust inside him. Knowing he had lost, Severus stopped fighting, looking aside to avoid meeting his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Robert carried the unconscious boy to a room he had prepared specially for the occasion. If Severus behaved, he would be allowed to use the bed in the corner, otherwise he would be tied to the wall until the end of his stay. 

This wasn’t his first time doing this, but he hoped it would be the last. He liked his job, but he had retired several years before, when he met Ellie. It wasn’t worth the risk, not when he had a family to take care of. He had made enough money to live comfortable for the remainder of their lives, and he still helped or gave some advice for a price. There was no need to train the children himself anymore. 

And Eileen hated this. Not because of the brat, she couldn’t care less about him. But she was jealous. A few years before, she told him how she lost her first husband because of the boy. Tobias loved his son a little too much and neglected their marriage. One day, Ellie had enough and returned with her parents. Robert was looking for a wife at the time, and they introduce them. It was love at first sight, and they had been together ever since. 

He would never go against her wishes, but the boy was for Albus. His friend asked him to do it himself, and nobody said no to Albus Dumbledore. 

Eileen looked outside from the sitting room’s window, in the same place he left her when he took the boy to the room. He couldn’t blame her. He was nervous too. This wasn’t the first time he brought a child to the house, but it had passed over twenty years since the last time. 

“Relax, dear. We are far away from everything, and the brat doesn’t even exist. Nobody is looking for him.” He spoke with confidence, sitting in one of the armchairs. For a moment he thought in pouring himself a glass of whisky but discarded the idea. Ellie didn’t like it when he drank. “Ellie, nothing will happen. No one know he is here.” 

“I know,” she said, finally leaving the window and sitting on his lap. “Do you love me?” 

“What kind of question is that?” He ran a hand up her spine, and she shuddered. It was one of her weak points, and it would work to distract her. “Of course I love you. We have a life together. We have three perfect children. I wouldn’t change it for the world.” 

“You would not let anything happen to me, would you?” She asked. 

“Of course not, I will protect you and our children with my life.” He played with her hair, his anxiety returning. There was something Eileen wasn’t telling him. “What is it, Eileen? Is there something I should know?” 

“No,” she said simply, standing and smiling at him. “I will make you something to eat. You will need the energy. I want him out of here as soon as possible.”

* * *

When Severus woke up, he was naked, on the stone floor of a windowless bedroom. He uselessly struggled against the spell that tied his wrist to the wall, clamping his mouth shut to stop the groan of frustration. Any sound would alert Robert and his mother. He looked around for anything he could use as a weapon. There was a bed with a brown blanket in a corner and nothing else. The only door stood ajar, as an open mouth laughing at him. He tried with wandless magic, but his magic was even weaker than when he was actually eight. In the end he gave up, drawing his knees to his chest and fighting the tears that threatened to fall. 

That man. That bastard. He would pay for what he did. If Dumbledore didn't kill him, Severus would do it himself when he recovered his old body. The headmaster would be furious. Severus knew he wasn't his favourite — those were Lupin and Black — but he cared about him. 

He bit his lip to suppress a sob. It shouldn't be Dumbledore who protected him. His mother was right there. Severus kept saying to himself he didn't mind her indifference, but it hurt. She was his mother. She was supposed to defend him. But she didn't do it with his father, and she wouldn't do it with Robert. 

At least his father didn't rape him. He liked to touch, and he lost his temper easily, but he never raped him. Once one of his friends noticed and wanted to do the same. The man only managed to put a hand on his thigh before Tobias beat him almost to death. Thinking back, perhaps he did beat him to death, because he never saw him again. His father didn't share, and sick as it was, Severus was grateful for that. 

"Excellent, you are finally awake." Robert entered the room, clapping his hand together. "Just in time for the party" 

Severus glared at him but didn't say a word. His mind working fast, looking for a way to escape. The only thing he saw was a grey wall, the same as the sitting room. _The hallway,_ his brain supplied. He tried to remember the outside of the house. It was only one floor. He was neither in the attic nor in the basement. No stairs. He just had to find an exit. 

_Easy to say it. And then what? Apparate away?_ He would have to improvise; Robert was getting closer and there was no more time for plans. 

"I am going to cancel the spell. Do not try to do anything or there will be consequences." 

Again, Severus kept silence. 

As soon as he was free, he punched Robert's crotch with all the strength he could muster and ran. He turned to the right, crashing with an invisible wall after a few feet. He heard Robert laughing at his back. It was an obvious trap, and he had fallen for it. 

Robert walked towards him with a grin. 

"Protection spells," he said, gesturing his groin. "Did you really think you were the first in trying that?" 

The first one. How many children that man had kidnapped? There was another one there? If he managed to escape, he had to take them with him. He wasn't going to leave a child with those monsters. 

"Don't look at me like that. It is my job." He exclaimed as if he were offended. His smile returned to his face after a moment. "Don't worry, you are our only guest right now." 

Taking Severus by the shoulder, he led him down the hallway. He heard three different voices coming from one of the rooms — he was almost sure it was the sitting room — and decided that fighting against four grown men was pointless. Instead, he studied the place. They passed two closed doors on the left, and the kitchen and the dining room on the right. They finally arrived at the sitting room, and the three men cheered when they crossed the door. 

"Gerard, you owe me four galleons," said Robert and his friend laughed. "The brat did try to escape." 

One of the men shrugged and look inside his pocket. "I guess they always do." 

Severus was taken to a chair in front of the sofa. 

"Since Severus tried to be naughty, he deserves a punishment, don't you agree?" The men nodded in agreement, and Robert run his fingers through his hair. "I was thinking in cut this hair, so he remembers he is ours to play, and we can do whatever we want to him." 

Severus understood the message. He could be grateful it was just his hair this time. It could had been his leg or an arm. He was at their mercy. 

Robert brought his wand to his head, and his hair started to fall on the floor. Severus knew the spell. It was a curse and his hair wouldn't grow back. But Severus didn't care. Losing his hair was the less of his problems that night. 

"Merlin, you are ugly," said Robert and his friends roared with laughter, "I can't believe he wants you." 

He? The Dark Lord? How the Dark Lord knew where his mother lived? Severus felt his stomach shrink. The only one who knew was Lucius. But they fought with Lucius about it. He promised to stop watching his mother’s house. And how would he know he was a child again? It couldn't be Lucius. 

Perhaps Robert was a death eater. He never saw him in a meeting, but he didn't know every death eater. That had to be. When Dumbledore informed him about his situation, he contacted the Dark Lord. 

"Next time I will break your legs,” whispered Robert when he finished, the smile never leaving his face. Severus closed his eyes. He knew what came next.


	5. Chapter 5

Severus woke up alone and disoriented, unable to see anything in the dark. Had it all been a nightmare? Maybe he fell unconscious after a torture session again, and was on the floor of whoever's manor the Dark Lord was living this time. He tried to move, but the spell locking his arm to the wall and the pain in his backside stopped him. It wasn’t a dream. Robert, his friends and his mother were real, and at least one of them — likely Robert — was a death eater. 

The Dark Lord, a paedophile. Of everything wrong with him, this took the biscuit. If anyone had told him when he joined to him, he would had hexed them for insulting his master. The Dark Lord had done horrible things, but he never tortured children. 

Severus wasn’t a child, not really. He was thirty-five. He acted like a child most of the time, but the Dark Lord had no way to know. And Robert wouldn’t tell him, because he was a sick bastard who enjoyed raping children. It didn’t make sense, though. Why the Dark Lord didn’t ask Severus to serve him? He knew Severus would submit. He didn’t need Robert. 

The door creaked open and the bright light blinded him. He shielded his eyes with his hand, blinking several times until he was able to see again. His mother knelt at his side, and a bowl with what looked and smelled like soup was placed on the floor. 

“Mum?” He had to try. If she brought him food, it meant a part of her still loved him. Perhaps she would help him. He would forgive her everything, if she just helped him this time. “Mum?” 

As many times before, she ignored him. She stood and walked to the door in silence, not sparing a glance at her son. Severus started to panic. She was his only hope. She didn’t have to save him herself. She just had to contact Dumbledore. 

“I am your son!” He yelled desperate when he saw her at the door. 

Eileen reacted to those words, but not in the way Severus hoped. She returned at his side and lowered herself to his height. Her eyes blazed with fury as she grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him once. His head hit the wall hard, and it was difficult to focus in her words. 

“You are not my son. Did you hear me? I am not the mother of a whore like you. You are not my son!” She let his shoulders go and stood, looking down at him as though she was going to spit. “Never. Ever. Call me mother again.” 

Tears rolled down his face as he watched his mother leaving the room. She hated him. The food was an order from Robert. She didn’t care about him. What could he possibly have done for his mother to hate him? 

_You seduced your father,_ said a voice inside his head. He didn’t do it on purpose and Lucius said it wasn’t his fault, but the true was he destroyed his parents’ marriage. _It wasn’t your fault,_ he thought angrily. If it were one of his Slytherins, he wouldn’t blame them and he couldn’t blame himself for it. His father was sick and it had nothing to do with him. 

He cleaned his eyes with the back of his hand. Crying wasn’t going to fix anything. His mother hated him. His stepfather raped him and would rape him again if he didn’t stop him. Fighting back wasn’t an option. His magic was too weak. He wouldn’t be able to perform more than one or two spells, and they wouldn’t be strong enough to defeat an adult. The outside doors probably had wards on them. And then he had to apparate somewhere else. He couldn’t do it alone. He needed to contact someone. 

Lucius was the first one that came to his mind, but he quickly discarded the idea. Lucius was forced to inform the Dark Lord or his family would be in danger. Severus would never do anything to harm Draco or Narcissa. 

It had to be Dumbledore. He would hardly have time to start the call, but if the communication was cut abruptly, the old man would go to check on him. It would be embarrassing to admit he was too weak to defend himself, but Dumbledore would understand. He would help. 

There had to be a fireplace connected to the floo network somewhere. In a different room, Robert said, and it made sense. They couldn’t risk to be interrupted when they were with children. But they had children themselves, and if one got sick, they had to take them to St. Mungo. 

_They can apparate there,_ reminded him a voice inside his head. 

But he called his friends. He couldn’t apparate house by house to invite them to rape a child. 

_That’s what letters are for._

Severus huffed in frustration, and then his face lightened. They couldn’t risk their letters fell into the wrong hands, there had to be a floo network. 

_Or a telephone,_ the same annoying voice in his head said. They had several muggle contraptions; they could use the muggle ones to communicate. He hadn’t used a telephone before, but he knew how they work, and without the number of the police — or anyone’s else — little he could do. 

_It works with a spell._ The television worked with a spell. They were too isolated to have electricity. There _had_ to be a fireplace. He only had to find the special room. 

_Unless the telephone works with a spell, too,_

He would have to take the risk. He had to contact Dumbledore and he would fix it. Whatever wards were around, he could easily disable them. He just had to earn their trust, be good for a couple of days. In the meantime, he’d find the room. He would save his magic to destroy the wards around the door — because there had to be wards around the door — and hopefully he would have enough to stop them while he made the call. 

“Do not waste the food.” 

Severus flinched when he heard Robert. His eyes went from the door, to the bowl at his side. His mother had knocked it over in her outburst, and the soup had been spilled. With a flick of his wand, his stepfather put it back. 

Severus watched with a gesture of disgust. “I will not eat from the floor.” 

Robert shrugged. “As you wish. It will stay there until you get hungry.” 

“I need to use the bathroom.” 

The man nodded and undo the spell on his wrist. Severus opened and closed his fist several times, and stood from the floor. He walked towards Robert, but an invisible barrier stopped him. The man grinned and shook his head, pointing at the corner with his finger. 

“I am not going to go here.” 

“You don’t have many options,” replied Robert coldly. “Now you will think twice before upsetting Ellie.”

* * *

The room reeked of urine and faeces. Robert didn’t allow him to use a real bathroom, and didn’t bother in cleaning up the bedroom. Severus felt disgusted at himself, but endured the humiliation stoically in order to earn their trust. If they thought he had given up, they would let their guard down, and it would be his moment to escape. 

He didn’t know how many days went by. His mother levitated water and food from the door, but he was always hungry, refusing to eat with the nauseating smell around him. Every once in a while, Robert’s friend took pity of him and fed him the food they brought for them, and Severus couldn’t reject it. It was that or starving to death, and he still wanted to live. 

Identifying the room with the fireplace was easy. There were two possible doors — he was fairly sure the others were bedrooms — and only one of them with wards on it. Two spells. He was two spells away from his freedom. One for the ward, one to unlock the door. 

The seventh time Robert gathered with his friends, Severus decided he had waited long enough. The Dark Lord said seven was a magic number, after all. At least something of what he said had to be true. 

As usual, they brought him into the sitting room and took turns with him. Severus mindlessly obeyed them. A punishment would ruin his plans. When they finished, they watched a video — Severus had learnt to hate the television — featuring other children. He felt sick every time. Those were real kids, and he wished he could do something for them, but he well knew they were likely dead. 

“Move, slut,” said Robert yawning. It was time to return to his bedroom. 

Severus stood and limped towards the door without a word. Robert smiled tiredly. He was always tired after those sessions, and it might give him an advantage. He repeated the spell over and over in his head, feeling warm of the magic on the tip of his fingers. 

As soon as they were in the hallway, he started to run. Robert yelled at his back, but Severus didn’t turn to see what he was doing. His experience in battles taught him a thing or two, and he dodged the spell cast behind him throwing himself to the floor. He rolled over to reach the door and yelled the louder he could the spells. His heart beat faster when he heard the click of the lock, and he jumped on his feet to enter. 

_It was the room_

His eyes scanned the room, finding the pouch with floo powder besides the fireplace. He took a handful of it and threw it to the fire, yelling ‘Hogwarts, headmaster’s office’ and watching the flames change their colour. He was about to put his head inside when the stunning spell hit him.


	6. Chapter 6

Grasping his arm, Robert dragged a half-conscious Severus through the hallway. He didn’t resist and didn’t even react when his head bumped on the door frame. Everything was confusing, but he recognised the place by its nauseating smell. He was back in the bedroom. 

He rested his back on the wall as Robert tied his arm. It didn’t matter. He heard Dumbledore’s voice before being stunned. If Dumbledore had slightest suspicion that they hurt him, he would check on him. He would be there at any moment. 

His eyes flew open and a scream escaped from his throat. Robert followed through with his threat and broke his legs. He said something but Severus couldn’t hear through the pain. Probably another threat. Severus reminded himself that Dumbledore would come soon, but it did nothing to stop his crying. He flinched at the door slamming shut and when he looked, Robert had disappeared. 

He stared at the door, hoping to see the white beard, or hear the usual 'my boy' in a worried, but also angry voice. What it felt like hours passed and nobody entered. Fear crawled up his spine. What if everything had been a dream and Dumbledore never heard him? He was alone and there was no way to escape. 

When Robert appeared and fixed his legs hope swelled in his chest. The nightmare was over. They could threaten him with whatever they wanted but he would tell everything to the headmaster, and they would pay for every tear they'd caused. 

He winced when he stood and started to walk. His legs still hurt but not as much as before. He could walk. And the headmaster would heal them in a few minutes anyway. When they arrived to the sitting room and saw Robert’s friends waiting for them, he realised that Dumbledore wasn’t coming. 

This time he fought as he had never done before. He wouldn't win, that was for sure, but they could kill him. If he died, the Dark Lord would kill them for that. The Dark Lord wanted _him_ , and nobody denied the Dark Lord his wishes. 

It was disappointing when he left the sitting room alive. They tortured him and brought him to the brink of death, but they kept him alive. Barely aware of how Robert carried him to the bedroom, he whimpered when he broke his legs again and passed out as soon as the man closed the door. 

Despite the pain he felt when he woke up, Severus still could think. The only way out was death. If he died, the Dark Lord would punish Robert and his mother, and he would have his revenge. It brought him a little of peace to know it would happen, even if he wasn't going to be there to enjoy it. 

He tried hard to remember if something could help him to kill himself in the sitting room. Besides the bedroom, they didn’t visit anywhere else, and the bedroom didn’t have anything. After a while, he concluded he would have to work with the only thing he still had control. The food. 

For the next days, Severus stopped eating. He rejected anything those men offered when he was out the bedroom, and ignored the plates they levitated inside. At first Robert didn't care, 'as long as his holes are available' he said to his friends laughing, but as the time went by, he understood what Severus was doing. He tried to force-feeding him, but Severus vomited on his shoes. It earned him a punishment, but punishments didn't work on him. 

Next were the potion. Severus would vomit anything they forced him to drink before it had any effect in his body. It wasn't hard given his surrounding, and later it just came naturally. He could see the fear in Robert's eyes as Severus became weaker, and he couldn't avoid to smirk every time another of his attempts to feed him failed. Soon he would be dead. Soon, he would win.

* * *

Lucius and Narcissa were in their bedroom, the only place of the house where it was safe to talk. Since the Dark Lord had taken over the manor they never knew when he was listening. They couldn't risk. If they failed in any way, their son would pay. 

"Lucius, stop, you are going to make a hole on the floor," Narcissa said to her husband, who had been pacing since his arrival fifteen minutes earlier. 

Lucius didn't stop. A meeting had just finished and Severus wasn't there. He was worried. Something happened to his friend, he could feel it. They knew about Severus' true allegiances and his life was always in danger, but this was different. He doesn't know how, but this was different. 

"It has been two weeks we don't know anything about him. He has never been away for so long. Not without telling us." 

"Yes, he has. Do you remember when he went to America? He disappeared for a month without telling anyone. What did he tell us then? To stop meddling in his life," replied Narcissa calmly. "He is fine. You are just nervous because Draco leaves in a couple of days." 

"It is not that," said Lucius shaking his head and sitting beside his wife on their marital bed. 

"He will be fine. You know he sometimes gives the report to the Dark Lord in private. In three days, Draco will be back at Hogwarts and he can remind him to call us." 

Before he could reply, the familiar burn on his left forearm told him that the Dark Lord wanted to see him. It wasn't painful, meaning he wasn't angry. Lucius frowned. If the Dark Lord wanted to talk with him, why didn't he ask him to stay after the meeting? He didn't have the time to guess. If he made him wait, he would get angry, and he didn't fancy a cruciatus. 

"He is calling me," he said to his wife before leaving the bedroom. 

He hurried to what had been his study in other times. Now it belonged to the Dark Lord like everything else at the house. But he didn't care about the manor. As long as the Dark Lord didn't own his family, he will give him all his fortune. 

Before he could knock, the door swung open. The Dark Lord waited for him behind his mahogany desk and beckoned him closer. He looked calmed, reminding him of a man he would have followed to hell itself. But that man died long time ago, leaving an insane monster behind. 

"You called me, my Lord?" 

"Yes, do you know anything about Severus' whereabouts?" Asked the Dark Lord. 

“No, my Lord. May I ask why?” 

His throat felt dry and his chest compressed, but he didn’t know if it was because of his lost friend, or because the Dark Lord would punish him for asking. It had been stupid, reckless, but something happened to Severus and he needed to know what. 

He glanced the Dark Lord’s right hand, expecting a move, but it remained on its place. It took everything in him to keep a blank face when his master just nodded. 

"There is something blocking my communication with him. I want you to go Hogwarts and bring him here." There was something in the Dark Lord’s voice. Not anger, but something that sounded like... concern? Lucius dismissed the thought as ridiculous. The old Dark Lord, perhaps, but this Dark Lord didn’t care about anyone but himself. 

"Yes, my Lord." 

"That would be all, you are dismissed." 

With a bow, Lucius left the room. His heart pounded on his ears. He was right in being worried. The Dark Lord said something was blocking his mark. Unless Severus found a way to erase the mark, that shouldn't be possible. Someone with good tolerance to the pain and a too little brain could ignore the Dark Lord’s call, but the Dark Lord would know he was being ignored. 

Without telling anything to his wife, he apparated in Hogsmeade, outside Hogwarts’ gates. They opened and let him in and not far away a carriage with a thestral waited for him. It seemed as if they were expecting him. As if they were mocking him. Did Severus find a way to be free of the mark and now he was mocking? It didn’t sound like Severus, but a part of him hoped he was, because that way his worries were nothing more than overprotection. They could deal with the Dark Lord later, but he hoped his friend was fine. 

Dumbledore was there when he got out of the carriage. He greeted him with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Lucius, what a pleasant surprise,” he said in a neutral voice. “How might I help you?” 

“I was hoping to speak with Professor Snape, headmaster.” 

“I am afraid that will not be possible. Severus doesn’t work here anymore.” 

“May I ask why?” 

“A family problem. He didn’t provide details, but he did say it was something concerning his parents.” 

There was a glint of amusement in the headmaster's eyes, as if he had cracked a joke that only he understood. Lucius dismissed the thought. There were more important things to worry about than Dumbledore's weird reactions. He knew that what he said was a lie. Severus' parents wanted nothing to do with him. Both abandoned him before he was even fifteen, and Severus would rather die than do anything for them. 

But if he wasn’t at Hogwarts or with his parents. Where the hell was Severus?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long, but next chapter should be sooner. Thank you for reading! ;)

It wouldn't harm to visit Severus' parents' old house. Tobias and Eileen had not lived in there for years, but Severus still used it as a hiding spot when he wanted to be alone. He had nowhere else to go. Dumbledore didn't pay him enough to afford a better house and he wouldn't accept one as a gift. Lucius tried to give him one when he earned his mastery, but Severus refused to sign any paper. 

Lucius apparated in Cokeworth and made his way to Severus' house quickly, knocking on the door and waiting a few minutes. Nobody answered. He knocked again, tapping his cane with impatience. Looking both sides to confirm there weren't muggles close, he deactivated the wards and turned on the light, wiping his hand in his robes with a gesture of disgust after touching the switch. 

The place had not changed since the last time he visited. It looked like a library with three of the four walls covered in books. An old armchair, a table surrounded by four mismatched chairs and a sofa. No photographs or any personal object around. Opening the secret door to the kitchen, he called Severus' name. No one there. He did the same in the bedrooms upstairs but no sign of Severus. He went room by room searching for some clue. Again nothing. 

He sat in one of the chairs and sighed loudly. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. Like his parents, Severus left without telling anything to anyone. 

Eileen was the first one. Severus was twelve and spent that summer at Malfoy manor. One day, for no apparent reason, he told him his mother went away. When Lucius asked, Severus explained that she left while he was at school. It didn't sound like a complaint, and he didn't cry, but Lucius hugged him anyway. What else was he supposed to do? Severus didn't pull away, and he never mentioned that conversation again. 

On the other hand, Tobias disappearance really affected Severus. He was fourteen and he was at the manor again. After raiding his liquor cabinet, Severus confessed Lucius what his father did to him. He made him promise not to kill him or his mother, but there was no way he would let the kid return to that home. Lucius took him to there so he could pick up his things, and Severus refused to go away without saying goodbye to his father. He wouldn't abandon him like his mother did. They waited three days. The man never returned. Severus looked for him in the bar he frequented but they knew nothing about him. It took another two days to convince Severus the man was gone. He did cry that time. 

After Tobias vanished from the face of the earth — Lucius paid people to find him but they couldn't — Lucius went to talk with Eileen. He thought the woman would want a relationship with her son and if she had stayed away for so long, it was because of her ex-husband. The woman didn't. She said it wasn't her problem what happened with 'the brat'. Lucius asked for Severus' magical guardianship, and the woman was more than happy in giving it to him. He warned her to never contact Severus again or there would be consequences for her and her new family. The woman just laughed. 

He kept an eye on her for a long time but she never did anything. When Severus learnt he had people watching his mother, he was furious. He threatened with killing next person he saw around her house. Lucius stopped sending people, not because he cared about their well-being but because he understood he would lose Severus for good if he kept doing it. He had not known anything about Eileen ever since. 

Lucius stood and left the house, replacing the wards in his way out. There was no time to think in the past. Severus wouldn't go with his parents. He was probably in the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters making felix felicis for Potter. 

He apparated in the manor and went straight to the Dark Lord's study, bracing himself for the cruciatus. Failed missions had consequences, and Severus betrayal wasn't going to improve his master's mood. It would be bad this time. 

As if the Dark Lord were waiting for him, the door opened before he could knock. From behind the desk, he motioned him to enter. Lucius bowed, almost to the ground. 

"What news do you bring, Lucius?" 

“My Lord, Snape wasn’t at Hogwarts. Dumbledore said he had a family problem,” 

The Dark Lord frowned. "Do you believe it possible?" 

“No, my Lord. Severus has not contacted his parents since he was a teenager, and he doesn’t have more family.” 

The Dark lord stroked his chin, thoughtful. “Did you look in his house?” 

“Yes, my Lord. There was no sign of Severus.” 

“I see,” said the Dark Lord and Lucius prepared for a cruciatus that never came. “And tell me, Lucius. Do you believe Severus disappearance is voluntary?” 

"No, my Lord." 

It was the only acceptable answer if he wanted to keep his friend alive, but he wasn’t sure. Severus, as all of them, wanted nothing more than erase the dark mark and start over away from that madman. If someone could manage to block the mark, that was Severus. And if he wanted to escape, he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. Perhaps Dumbledore found him another function. Lucius never liked the old man, but Severus trusted him. 

The red eyes studied Lucius, as trying to determine if he told the truth. Lucius prepared his mind for an invasion, but the Dark Lord didn't enter. After what seemed like hours, his master spoke again. 

“We have more important things to do than searching for a traitor. Do not look for him anymore, and I expect complete discretion about this conversation. You are dismissed.” 

“Yes, my Lord,” he said bowing again. 

“And Lucius,” said the Dark Lord before he could turn around, “don’t you ever lie to me again.” 

Lucius didn't answer. He tensed, expecting a curse, but after thirty seconds nothing happened. He rushed to leave the study, not daring to look at the Dark Lord for fear he changed his mind and decided to punish him anyway. Once he was back in his bedroom, he allowed himself to breath. 

“Any luck with Severus?” 

“He is missing. The Dark Lord ordered to stop the searching.” 

“Do you believe he found a way to escape?” 

Lucius sat at her side and covered his face with his hands. “I do not know, Cissy. You know how he is.” 

“But you are worried.” 

“I am always worried.” 

Narcissa sighed and passed an arm over his shoulder, making him to support his head on her lap. 

“Relax and tell me, what does your heart say, dear. Is Severus fine?” She said scratching his head. 

Lucius closed his eyes. “I do not know.” He made a pause and took a deep breath. His stomach hurt. “I do not think so.” 

“Then you have your answer." 

"The Dark Lord ordered to stop searching for him. He also asked for discretion." 

Suddenly, an idea comes to his mind. If Severus became incapable of taking care of himself, the guardianship would be returned to Lucius. And there was a spell to find wards. If Severus was fine, it wouldn't work. Lucius prayed to Merlin the spell didn't work. 

He jumped from the bed and did the spell. The wand started to spin, stopping and pointing southwest. His mother lived in that direction. Severus wouldn’t go willingly, but if he was hurt, he didn’t have a choice. And he remembered that strange glint in Dumbledore's eyes when he mentioned his family. 

"He is with his mother," he said, staring first at his wife and then at the door. 

“Lucius, be very careful in what you are going to do,” warned his wife, deadly serious, and Lucius looked at her again. “You might be putting Severus and us in a greater danger.” 

He sat again, taking a moment to think. Narcissa was right. The Dark Lord ordered to stop looking. And if Eileen grew a heart and was now helping her disabled son, he would send an angry Dark Lord straight to them. Going there without telling him would bring punishment to his own family. The Dark Lord liked to be informed. But if Severus was in danger, Lucius couldn't just sit down and let Eileen hurt him.


	8. Chapter 8

“I expect him back in two days,” said Dumbledore through the fire. “Do not fail me, Robert.” 

Dumbledore ended the call before Robert could reply. He stared at the fireplace a long time, his hand covering his mouth and nose. He had lied to Dumbledore, saying everything was fine and sending him videotapes of the first days, when Severus still obeyed. Thanks to Merlin that memories were too fragile to send them through floo. 

His eyes watered as he thought of his current situation. What was he going to do about the brat? He refused to eat or drink anything, and at this rate he would die in matter of days. And if the boy died, he and his family would pay. 

He blinked several times and took a deep breath. Weeping wouldn’t keep him alive. He was neither the first nor the last man in his profession to have troubles with a child. And as others did, he would call for external help. A fresh mind would give him new ideas. 

Robert threw the floo powder on the fire, calling Gerard’s house. The flames changed their colour and a moment later, the face of his oldest friend appeared. “Gerard. I need your help. Can you come over? The floo network is open.” 

Gerard travelled immediately, dusting his clothes as he stared at him with concerned eyes. “Everything fine, Rob?” 

“I fucked it up with the boy.” He swallowed hard, fear filling him again. Somehow saying it out loud made it more real. 

Gerard put his hands hands on his shoulder and squeezed them gently. “Show me and we will see what we can do.” 

He led him to the boy’s bedroom and opened the door. Gerard covered his mouth gagged. Robert entered and slightly shook Severus, who didn't react at all. His glassy eyes were fixed at the ceiling, and he had to confirm by his chest rising and falling that the boy was still alive. 

Gerard looked inside for a second before taking a step back. "For god's sake, man. Clean this mess. No wonder why the brat doesn’t eat. " He shut the door as soon as Robert crossed it. "What got into your head, Rob? You are not new in this. You know you can't push this far." 

They went to the sitting room to speak more freely. He didn’t want Eileen to accidentally listen and worry, even though he would have to tell her the situation sooner or later. 

"I don't know. He hurt Ellie and I just did it. And he is dangerous, if I let him go to the bathroom, he will use it to escape. I am sure about that. This is not an ordinary child." 

"So you said. What is so special about him? I can find you one better. That boy is pretty ugly." 

Robert shook his head. "No, my client wants this one. And he will not take it well if he dies under my watch." 

"Dangerous man?" 

He sighed loudly. He wished he could tell his friend this was Dumbledore’s boy, but the headmaster asked for discretion. “You have no idea how much.” 

Gerard didn’t press him to reveal more information. They both had worked with dangerous clients in the past, and they always demanded silence. “He has to fear something. If you find what it is, you can break him.” 

“Do you believe I don’t know that?” He said almost yelling, panic rising in his chest again. “I broke his fucking legs. He fears nothing.” 

His friend patted his arm. “What about a boggart?” 

“Where do I get a boggart, Gerard? My client wants him in two days,” he said collapsing in the armchair, staring hopeless at him. 

“Everyone has a weakness. The boy doesn't respond to pain nor to humiliation, but he has to fear something,” muttered Gerard, taking a thumb to his lips as he always did when he thought hard. 

Robert’s mind went to his conversation with Dumbledore before the brat’s arrival. The headmaster only told him he was Eileen’s son and would be difficult to break. He never thought Severus’ stubbornness would go as far as to kill himself in such a torturous way. 

Dumbledore wouldn’t be pleased, but if he broke the boy, he would be forgiven for the lie. He said himself to do whatever it takes, as long as the damage was not permanent. 

“Doesn’t he have a family? A sibling or something?” 

Robert shook his head, but suddenly an idea came to his head. Severus looked visibly relieved when Robert told him he was the only child in there. They didn’t need a sibling. He found Severus’ worst fear. 

His lips curled into a smile. “I know what to do. Bring me that boy you were talking about. Someone disposable” 

His friend stared at him incredulous, understanding what he wanted to do. Usually, the kids only look for themselves. They even experienced jealousy towards other children that were treated better and tried to get them hurt. But Severus was an adult, one who was used to protect children. 

Gerard exited the room and Robert started to work. He put a chair in front of the sofa and a plastic bag on the coffee table. They wouldn’t enjoy the new child. Dumbledore locked Severus’ magic and he would keep the legs broken, but he wouldn’t risk. He shouldn’t have been able to use any spell yet he broke into the floo room. Who knew how would he react when he saw his worst fear becoming true? 

The boy would need something he could digest after his hunger strike, so he prepared a chicken soup. He was almost finished when Eileen entered into the kitchen. 

“Look at you. I didn’t know you could cook,” said his wife, walking to his side and kissing him. 

“I can manage a soup when nobody cares about the taste.” He turned off the stove and slide a hand around her waist. “It’s for the brat.” 

She wrinkled her nose but didn’t pull away. “Is he eating again?” 

“He will.” He kissed her nose multiple times, until she changed the face of disgust and chuckled. “Do you want to participate? It will be fun. You will see him break, truly break.” 

They shared a sadistic smile. Despite his fear to Dumbledore, he couldn’t avoid feeling excited. After breaking Severus, they could and would do whatever they wanted to him. And at the minimal transgression, they would bring another child. They’d use at least two more to show him who had the power. Perhaps with next one they could have some fun. 

The boy didn’t look at him when he entered, but he cried when he picked him up. His legs were broken after all. He left him in the sofa and studied him. Pale skin, tears staining his cheeks and vomit crusted on his chin, but the boy still managed to smirk and stare defiant. 

He went to the floo room where Gerard already waited for him. He carried a shaking boy in his arms. The child wore second-hand clothes and his blond hair was dirty, but otherwise he looked healthy. He probably was loved, but with a family too poor to look for him. 

“I will put you on the floor, but if you try to escape, I will kill you and go for your sister. Did you understand me?” Warned Gerard and the boy nodded. 

Gerard grabbed the boy’s arm and guided him to the sitting room. Robert followed him close behind, with his wand ready if he tried to escape. The boy didn’t. He begged and sobbed, but sat on the chair when they ordered it. 

Severus gasped and his eyes widened. He shook his head, tears falling as he dragged himself to the edge of the sofa. Robert smirked, triumphant. That was the face he wanted to see. 

“Please, no,” whispered Severus, grasping the arm of the sofa, “please.” 

“Oh, you believed you could outsmart me?” Said Robert mockingly, tying the new boy to the chair. “Well, these are the consequences of your actions. Little Timmy will pay for it.” 

He didn’t care if the boy’s name was Timmy or John or whatever, as long as Severus believed it. The boy didn’t correct him either, too scared to talk. Severus keep shaking his head as Robert grabbed the plastic bag and put it over the boy’s head. The boy struggled, trying to free himself, but the ropes around him kept him in his place. 

"No! I'll eat," Severus screamed. "Please don't do this, I'll eat, please," 

He took away the bag and gestured Eileen to bring for the food. The boy at his side coughed and sobbed between ragged breaths. Robert grinned, a hand petting the boy’s head but his eyes never leaving Severus. 

His wife arrived a minute later with a bowl with soup and handed it to Severus, who took it with shaky hands. He drank quickly, and Robert had to stop himself from laughing, knowing what was going to happen next. Severus vomited on the floor, confirming Robert’s predictions. He had eaten too fast and his stomach couldn’t handle it. The three adults laughed and Robert put the bag over the boy’s head again. 

“This is your fault.”


	9. Chapter 9

Lucius rubbed his face and brushed his hair back with his fingers. He stood from the bed and exited the room, leaving Narcissa alone. After twenty years married, they didn’t need words. Her husband would talk to the Dark Lord, and she knew how that conversation would go. Lucius would confess he disobeyed, and the Dark Lord would torture him for it. But after his outburst, the Dark Lord would allow Lucius to go for Severus. 

A sense of dread and guilt settled in her stomach. She had been dismissing Lucius' worries for the past two weeks. Lucius' hunches about Severus — or Draco— were always right, but she had the hope this time, just this time, they failed him. Her optimism died when Severus didn't arrive at the meeting, and even then, she tried to convince her husband it was just overprotection. 

She’d go with Lucius. If Severus was disabled, he would need a healer. She hoped against hope it was nothing irreversible. The Dark Lord wouldn’t keep him around if he wasn’t useful, and she didn’t want to see how Lucius reacted to Severus’ death. 

Narcissa went to Draco’s room and knocked on the door. They couldn’t have Draco there if they arrived with a hurt Severus. They were close, and Draco was a sensitive child. Her son opened with a worried face. Like Lucius, he could also say when something was wrong. She wished Hogwarts had a decent divination teacher, so her son could develop his skills. 

“You will spend the night with the Parkinsons,” she said before Draco could ask. 

Draco nodded and grabbed a bag already prepared from the bed. They had a deal. There wouldn’t be lies, but he would have to obey first and make the questions later. Her son had matured since the Dark Lord moved to the manor and she couldn’t wait until he returned Hogwarts to come back to be his spoiled self. It hurt her to have him away, but it was the safest place for him. 

She spoke with Susan Parkinson through floo and sent Draco. No losing time, she gathered some potions and waited for her husband outside the Dark Lord’s study. 

Lucius was the first one in crossing the door, followed by the Dark Lord. She stared at him, asking without words if she was allowed to accompany them. The Dark Lord nodded, and Lucius guided them in the apparation to the house of Severus’ mother. 

It was a beautiful place. Secluded from everywhere, with a giant garden where the kids could play. It even had swings. How a mother could abandon her own child, and at the same time provide a place like that to her other children? 

The Dark Lord undid the anti-apparition wards around the house and Lucius went first. He made a gesture as if to knock on the door but his hand froze in the middle of the air. Narcissa understood what bothered her husband. It was too quiet, as if there were a silencing spell around the house. It didn’t make sense. The place was away from everything. 

Lucius took out his wand and opened the door. They heard a child crying and they ran there. She quickly scanned the room. Two children, one in a chair with a plastic bag covering his head and the other on the floor, as trying to reach to him. Three adults, who only had time to look surprised before being disarmed and thrown to the wall. Severus wasn’t there. 

She went to the boy with the bag and Lucius to the other, while the Dark Lord controlled the adults. The boy’s face had turned blue, and he didn’t move. She injected air into the lungs with a spell and the chest expanded. A second later the boy coughed and started to breath on his own. Narcissa rubbed circles on his back until he calmed, thanking to Merlin they arrived on time. 

The boy jumped away when he realised where he was, and Narcissa caught him before he could run away. He struggled, but he was already weak a gave up a few seconds later. 

“It is fine, sweetheart, we will take you home,” 

“I want my mum,” pleaded the boy between sobs. 

She turned his head to the other child. There was something familiar in him, but she couldn’t say what until she saw Lucius hugging him. _Severus_. Anger boiled in her veins. His small body was littered with bruises and she could tell by his skin that he was dehydrated. And the bones. Severus was always skinny, but now he was only bones. She wanted revenge but she would have to leave that to Lucius. Someone had to take the children home. 

His eyes went to the Dark Lord, waiting for orders. The boy at her side was a muggle, and she only hoped he didn’t ask her to kill him. 

“I trust your judgement,” said the Dark Lord simply, before returning his attention to the adults, who were cowering against the wall, shaking in fear. 

She didn’t know if it was a test, but she wasn’t going to kill a child to pass. That boy would return to his house. 

Holding the boy’s hand to avoid him to run away, she got closer at Lucius, who was speaking at Severus in soft tones. She motioned him to give her the child, but when Lucius tried to separate from him, Severus clasped his arms around his neck. 

“Go with Cissy, child,” whispered Lucius but Severus fists tightened around his robes. “You remember Cissy, don’t you? She will take care of you while I deal with them.” 

“The kid,” said Severus weakly, “the kid.” 

“Yes, the kid is going with you.” Lucius finally managed to separate him and give him to Narcissa. “Go with Cissy. I will go there as soon as I can.” He kissed the back of Severus’ head and looked at Narcissa. “His legs were broken. I couldn’t repair them well.” 

“I will take care of it,” she said, accommodating Severus in her free arm with the help of her husband. She pulled the other boy closer, pressing him against her hip before apparating with both of them in the manor. 

When they arrived, she laid Severus on a bed and cast a diagnostic charm. While Severus’ injuries were written in a parchment she turned to the other child, who was crying again. She knelt in front of the boy. 

“I want to go home,” sniffed the boy. 

“We will take you there in a minute, I promise,” said Narcissa softly. 

The boy looked at her and Narcissa used that moment to enter into his mind. As she suspected, he was a muggle and his name was Tyler. He was kidnapped just a few hours earlier, so she could erase the memories without consequences. They didn’t do anything else to him, and she thanked Merlin for small mercies. 

“Cissy, no!” Cried Severus from the bed. “Please no.” 

“Severus.” She was back at the bed side in a the second. “What is wrong?” 

“No, please no,” he begged and grabbed her robes. “Just a child.” 

“Nobody will hurt him, Severus. I will take him with his parents, the Dark Lord ordered it.” 

Severus kept crying and muttering ‘please no’ and Narcissa understood he wasn’t listening. If she took the boy away now, Severus would think she killed him. There would be no way to convince him of the opposite. 

She grabbed the parchment from the air. Nothing threatened Severus life. He would be able to resist a couple of apparitions. 

“Look, this is what we are going to do. I will put a silencing spell on you, and I will apparate with both so you can see. Is that fine with you?” 

“Please, don’t kill him.” 

She sighed and put the silencing spell on Severus, and a disillusionment charm in both of them. Grabbing the other child, she apparated in the park from where he was taken. She could hear people screaming a name in the distance. The boy seemed about to run, so she grabbed him by the shoulder and forced him to meet her eyes. She whispered ‘obliviate’ while she was inside his mind, making sure of erasing any memory of the experience. Once finished, she let the boy go, who looked with unfocussed eyes in her direction. 

He cried for his mother when he came back on himself, and a woman appeared not a minute later. 

“Tyler!” She ran at his side, hugging him. “Oh, god, we were so worried. Never do that to me again.” 

She carried Severus, who had stopped crying by now, to a place where they could apparate. When they appeared in the manor, she put him in bed again. He refused to let her robes go so she sat at his side and hugged him until he fell asleep. Healing could wait a couple of minutes, but Severus needed to be comforted right now.


	10. Chapter 10

While the Dark Lord tortured the three adults, Lucius looked around for people hiding. He checked room by room, easily breaking the wards, stopping in front one door. There was something behind that door. Another child perhaps? An adult hiding? His gut told him it was important, but he couldn’t listen any sound on the other side. 

The door opened with a simple _‘alohomora’_ , as if it were inviting him to enter. The stench of urine and faeces hit his nose, almost making him gag, and the view of the interior did nothing to stabilise his stomach. His eyes went to a plate lying next to the wall, in the middle of something that looked like dried vomit. There was still food on it, at some point Severus must have stop eating, if he ever ate at all. Two weeks he spent in there, chances were he had to do it if he wanted to survive. His stomach clenched at the thought. That blood traitor and her husband would pay dearly for what they did to his friend. 

"My lord, I think you should see this," he called. The screams stopped, and a moment later his master was at his side. "Here is where they had him." 

The red eyes screamed murder, and Lucius let out a breath of relief when Voldemort turned around and left him alone. This time the culprits were there and it wouldn't be the messenger who'd be punished, and the scream he heard was the proof of it. It sent chills down his spine. Not even the worst tortures he had seen could compare to that, and he had been in plenty of them. 

Strengthening the silence spells around the house, he went where his Lord was, grateful the fury wasn't directed to him. If it were anyone else, he would feel sorry for the man, but after what he had seen, he couldn't think in someone who deserved it more. Or that is what he thought until his eyes fell on the woman on the floor, who watched with horror how her husband's body contorted in pain. With a smirk he turned to his master, waiting for permission to proceed. He wasn't about to take away the fun from his master when he was in that state. 

"You may, child," said Voldemort simply and reassumed the curse. 

_Child_. The word brought memories to his mind, memories of a sane Voldemort and plans that made more sense than try and fail to kill a teenager. It frustrated him how low they fell, and now he had a perfect target to discharge his frustration. Elegant like a cat, he walked towards the woman, enjoying how she crawled away from him in a vain attempt to save herself. He let out a sadistic laugh, nothing could save her except for dead, and it will take a while before that. 

Grabbing a fist of hair, he dragged her to the room he found. The dark lord sent him a questioning look to him as he left the sitting room, and he shook his head in response, understanding his master's concerns. Rape was beyond the limits, not so much for the crime itself but for the connotations of sleeping with something as disgusting as that blood traitor. She still struggled to free herself, probably fearing the same, but Lucius had worse plans for her. 

Casting a charm in his nose, he entered with her to the room, forcing her face onto the floor and letting her go. She vomited on the spot, her face stained with whatever substance was in there. Crying, she moved to the corner, and he had to charm his shoes so they didn't get dirty as he got closer. 

"Please," she begged weakly. Lucius’ grin widened. 

"Please what? You will have to be more specific, I can't read minds," said he dramatically, and a part of him was expecting to hear a huff of laugh from Severus. 

"Please don't hurt me," 

"Oh, my dear, I can't do that. You must understand our actions have serious consequences, but I may grant you one little favour. If I see it fits, of course" 

She stared worried the bed and then to him. "Please, don't rape me" 

"Did he beg you too?” Said he dead cold. “Did you listen to his pleas?" 

"It wasn't me, it wasn't me, it was him! He didn't beg, I swear, I would had helped him," she squeaked desperate, "I gave him food, feed him" 

The plate was levitated and crashed against the wall. "Is this what you call feed? Your own son? _Crucio!_ " The curse hit her in the chest, and a sneer formed in his face "What a waste of wish, as much as a waste as you. In your condition, do you really believe I would be interested? Look at yourself, a dirty. blood. traitor." He punctuated each word with a cruciatus. 

"He is a mudblood, they deserved it, they are inferior. He was just faking be a pureblood, but he is not!" She managed to say. 

Forgetting his wish to stay clean in his rage, his hand went to her throat and closed around it. "He is a halfblood, _my_ halfblood, and you hurt him" 

She didn't say anything after that, and Lucius began to work. Torture, especially messy ones, were usually Severus' style. It wasn't his fault, though, but the man had a thing for human experimentation, and his rat labs used to suffer the consequences. No, Lucius was more of a neat job, an _avada kadabra_ , a few _cruciatus_ at most, he didn't like to dirty his hands but this time he'd make an exception. 

He went over all Severus repertoire, using every single one of the curses he had learnt from the potion master through the years, including those meaningless, just for the fun of it. After most of the bones were broken and the pool of blood formed under her indicate she was close to pass out, he stopped. Then, he used a few healing spells, not enough to diminish her suffering, but for her to feel the life abandoning her body. 

Blood had splattered on his clothes, and to avoid further damage, he moved her with a spell to the sitting room. He deposited her close to her husband, but not close enough to touch him. He didn’t want any revolting love scene. The man lay still, side by side with his friend, bleeding profusely by multiple cuts in his body. An old fashion _sectumsempra._ Apparently, the Dark Lord was of his same idea about using Severus’ spell. 

“You healed her?” Half-asked the Dark Lord lifting an eyebrow. 

"Of course, where would be the beauty of the dead if she can't feel it,” he said with a smirk. 

The two men were dying, none of them reacting anymore. The smile vanished from his face. It felt wrong. Severus had to suffer two weeks under their ‘care’, and they would be free of pain that same night. 

“What is wrong?” Asked the Dark Lord. 

“It feels... insufficient...” 

The Dark Lord nodded and got closer to heal them. “Pick one to stay, we will take the other two.” 

“They can’t be anywhere near Severus,” said Lucius immediately. If they wanted Severus to heal, they couldn’t have his torturers in the basement. 

“I will take care of it.” 

Lucius walked in front of them, pointing with his wand. He stopped in front of the unknown man. “This one.” 

“He is yours to end.” 

The man seemed relieved and Lucius stared coldly at him. Death was the best option, but not for that it would be quick and painless. He put his hands in his pockets, thinking in a good way to finish him. His lips curled into a smile when his finger touched the cold surface of a bottle inside his left pocket. 

It was a poison, left there during the first war, when he had not the courage to use it. A present from Severus to be used against Abraxas. Lucius couldn't count how many times he was in front of his father, with the small bottle between his fingers, tempted to mix it with the fine wine he used to drink. He had not dared, not then nor in the eleven years after that. The man finally died of Dragon Pox in 1992. 

He had forgotten about it, but now it was a good time to use it. Taking the bottle from his pocket, he studied it and showed it to the Dark Lord, waiting for his approbation. 

"It may take a while. It will liquefy his organs,” he said before turning to the man and winked. The man stared at him in panic, shaking his head and mouthing ‘please’ and ‘I am sorry’ with tears in his eyes. “Don't worry, you will feel everything" 

"Where did you come with that?" Asked the Dark Lord frowning and nodding. 

"Severus. He hadn't had the opportunity to test it yet.” 

The man struggled when Lucius opened his jaw, but it was useless. Lucius was stronger. He forced him to drink the poison and covered his mouth so he couldn’t spit it. When he made sure it went down his throat, he went to his master’s side and allowed himself to enjoy. 

Ten minutes later, they were interrupted by the crack of an apparition. The curtains were closed and any movement would give away their presence in the house. Lucius stared at his master, waiting for instructions. 

"Well, I believe we are going to miss the end,” said the Dark Lord, standing between Eileen and her husband. “I want people to know it was us, would you mind?" 

"It will be an honour, master,” he said bowing. 

The Dark Lord apparated away with the couple, and with a last look to the man contorting on the floor, Lucius abandoned the house through the back door. There was no antidote for Severus’ poison, and the man would die in matter of minutes without it, so they didn’t have to worry about him. 

“ _Morsmordre_ ,” he whispered, pointing above the house, and for the first time in years, the word didn’t leave a bitter taste in his mouth.


	11. Chapter 11

Severus woke up when he felt something tickling his leg. He stirred and noticed he couldn't move his lower body. His eyes flung open in panic as he tried to drag himself with his arms. Someone hugged him, making him stop his attempts of escaping. He looked up and found Narcissa blue gaze. He breathed deeply, forcing himself to calm down. He was at Malfoy manor. He was safe. 

"Hush, child, it is just a spell. I am fixing your legs and needed you quiet," Narcissa explained him slowly, as if she were talking to a real child. "I will take it away as soon as I finish. Is that okay with you?" 

"I am not a child," he said offended. "I am an adult." 

She smiled and hugged him tighter before letting him go. "That is good. I will fix your legs now." 

Narcissa's wand went back to his leg, and she started to cast and song-like spell he didn't know. He could hear the crack of the bones breaking and see the limb deforming, but it didn't hurt. For the first time in who-knows-how-long, he was free of pain. He smiled for a second, until he remembered the Dark Lord lived there. He wasn't as safe as he thought. 

He was about to tell Narcissa what he learnt about the Dark Lord when the door opened and Lucius entered. His body reacted without him being able to control it. His eyes watered and his lower lip trembled. He wanted Lucius with him. 

His friend took the two steps that separated them and surrounded him with his arms. Severus buried his face in Lucius’ clothes. He smelled of blood and vomit, and Severus heart raced. Was he hurt? The Dark Lord had hurt Lucius for saving him? A sob escaped from his mouth, even though he had tried to repress it. Lucius would die because of him. 

“Hey, what is wrong, child?” Asked Lucius softly, stroking the back of his head. 

“Blood,” he said, but the clothes muffled his voice. 

“Not mine,” replied Lucius, somehow understanding him. 

Severus relaxed with this and squeezed his eyes to let the last tears fall. “I am not a child.” 

Lucius made a sound of agreement but didn’t break the hug. Severus didn’t pull away and was barely aware when he regained control of his feet and legs. The pain was also back, but it was nothing compared to what he suffered while he was at Eileen’s house. 

“I will prepare a bath for him,” said Narcissa and disappeared into the bathroom. 

“It was the Dark Lord,” he said, suddenly remembering he had to warn his friends. “You have to send Draco away.” 

“It wasn’t the Dark Lord, Severus. He had no idea where you were. You blocked your mark.” 

Severus showed him his left arm, the blanket that covered him falling on his lap. “Vanished.” 

Lucius ran a finger over the naked forearm. “That explains it.” 

“It was him, Lucius. Robert was a death eater.” 

“Did you see his mark?” 

Severus shook his head. “But he said _he_ wanted me.” 

“They lied, Severus.” Lucius nervously glanced the door, and cast a silencing spell around them. “The Dark Lord is many things, Severus, but he is not a rapist, much less a paedophile,” he said with assurance in his voice. It wasn’t enough for Severus; he still wasn’t convinced. “You are safe here. I promise.” 

“Okay.” 

“Let’s get you bathed,” said Lucius picking him up. 

Severus wrapped his arms around his neck, not fighting him. He needed a bath and his legs were just healed, and they couldn’t support his body. The bathtub was already full of water and as Lucius lowered in it, he couldn’t avoid to hiss in pain. It was like needles stinging his skin. 

“I know, I know. It is the potions.” 

“I know it is the potions, Lucius. I am a potion master.” 

Lucius chuckled, and Severus scowled. He soaked a washing cloth in anti-scar potion and gave it to Severus, who absently ran it over his body. It wasn’t the first time he bathed Severus. As the Dark Lord’s punishments became more and more vicious, something as easy as a bath turned into an impossible task. 

Severus thought in Lucius’ words. Robert was working for someone, he knew it. Lucius was right, they never said the Dark Lord, but who else could it be? Nobody else knew he was de-aged, nobody except Dumbledore, and Dumbledore wouldn’t do something like that. 

The washing cloth reached his leg. The same leg they broke over and over. The same leg they touched. The same legs they forced to... 

A hand covered his and he realised he had been scrubbing too hard. Lucius poured some healing potion on the cloth and pressed it against the red skin. When the colour returned to normal, he began to pass the cloth over his back. 

“I have hands, you know?” Said Severus playing with the water, his mind relaxing as he pushed the water from one side to the other. 

“I know.” Lucius didn’t give him back the cloth, and Severus didn’t ask for it, more interested in the water than washing himself. “You miss the bubbles, don’t you?” 

“Shut up,” he said splashing water at Lucius. 

Lucius laughed and waved his wand. Multicoloured bubbles filled the bathtub and Severus couldn’t resist to pop one. Lucius didn’t tease him for it, so he considered safe to continue doing it. 

They didn’t speak for a while, his mind sinking into a blissful emptiness as he pops one bubble after another. His eyelids felt heavy and he closed his eyes for a minute, startling when a hand stopped him from falling. For a moment he was disoriented, looking around him, unsure of where he was until his eyes found Lucius. 

“Are you okay?” Asked his friend. 

“Just tired,” replied Severus, closing his eyes again. 

“I think we are done here.” Lucius helped him out of the bathtub and wrapped a giant fluffy towel around his shoulder. He unfolded the pyjama top and Severus saw the baby dragons printed in it. 

“I am not wearing those. I want mines.” He had some pyjamas from his childhood that Lucius bought the first time he visited. 

“Severus, yours are too big for you.” 

Severus glared at the offensive pyjama. “It has baby dragons on it.” 

“Yours has dragon, as well,” Lucius explained patiently. 

“Realistic dragons.” 

Lucius opened his mouth and then closed it again. His lips formed a thin line as he stared at him amused. 

“Jardy,” he called his house elf, “bring Severus’ smallest pyjama.” A second later, the two pyjamas appeared. Lucius showed both to Severus. “Horntail or longhorn?” 

“Longhorn.” 

Lucius helped him to dress. Even with a shrinking spell, he had to roll up the legs so Severus could walk. 

Severus yawned as they exited the bathroom, freezing when he saw the Dark Lord waiting for them. 

“My Lord,” he said bowing his head, and clasped Lucius’ robes. 

The Dark Lord studied him for a long time. Severus moved closer to his friend a few inches, and Lucius passed a hand around his shoulders in a reassuring way. He said he was safe, but with the Dark Lord you never know. 

“Draco had an interesting taste in clothes,” said the Dark Lord. 

“They are mines,” he said before he could stop himself. His face went red as soon as the words left his mouth. “Lucius chose them,” he added in a vain attempt to regain his dignity. 

The Dark Lord blinked, the corner of his lips twitching up. “Our talk may wait until tomorrow.” 

“Yes, my Lord. 

The Dark Lord turned around and left, and Severus looked at Lucius in askance. His friend seemed as perplex at him, shrugging and shaking his head. 

“It has been a strange day,” he said finally, and a smile formed on his face when he looked at Severus again. “But I think it is time for you to go to sleep.” 

He picked him up and put him in bed. Narcissa entered with a tray with potions, a jar of some yellowish liquid and a glass. 

“Here, you have to drink these before going to sleep.” Severus nodded and Narcissa gave him the first bottle. “Just a few sips.” 

Severus nodded again. He drank a few sips of each and Narcissa filled the glass with the yellowish water. 

“As much as you can.” 

Severus grimaced at the taste. He recognised the salty flavour of the rehydrating potion. It was disgusting. He stared with begging eyes to Narcissa to spare him of the torture, but she shook her head. He turned to Lucius, who grabbed the glass from him. 

“It can be that bad,” said his friend, taking the glass to his mouth and grimacing too. He returned it to Severus. “I am sorry, you are alone in this.” 

Severus laughed, and Lucius and Narcissa smiled. He managed to drink half of the glass, and put it on the night table. Narcissa left the jar there, and the tray over the chest of drawers. Lucius helped Severus to get under the covers. 

“Goodnight, Severus,” he said, kissing his forehead and moving so his wife could do the same. 

“We love you.” 

Severus didn’t remind them he was an adult this time.


	12. Chapter 12

Albus leaned forward in his chair and adjusted his half-moon glasses, his face inches from the screen of a small television he had fixed to work at Hogwarts. The video showed Severus accepting food from a man. The boy acted so docile and Albus’ lips curled in delight. He had his doubts when Severus attempted to escape, but the videotapes proved Robert was doing a decent job. Decent enough, that was, because he knew Robert lied to him and something else was happening. He wouldn't wait the two days; he would 'rescue' Severus that same night. 

Turning off the television, he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He would never understand how muggles could spend so long in front of those devices. His head hurt. With a movement of his wand, he extracted the tape and burned it. He would love to watch it over and over, but it was too risky to keep it. Someone could find it. 

Fawkes squeaked from his cage when he saw the fire. Albus shook his head. The bird didn’t approve his activities with children, especially when he was forced to heal them. Phoenixes were not reasonable beings. He couldn’t understand it was a victimless crime. He wiped their memories and cleaned any evidence. Those students would never know what happened. It had no consequences. Albus had learnt with the years, and by now he was an expert in covering his tracks. 

“You wouldn’t be there if you were a little more cooperative,” said Albus calmly. “I really hope you behave when Severus returns. He will need you. You like Severus, don’t you?” 

The phoenix chirped, interested. Fawkes did like Severus and always healed him after the death eaters' meetings without waiting for Albus’ order. He had been acting quite rebellious since he sent him with Robert, breaking almost every object in his office in protest. That was why he kept him in a cage. Fawkes needed to learn to blindly obey his master and trust in his decisions. 

He looked through the window, thinking of his current situation. Severus’ accident brought many headaches with it. He lost his spy, his potion master, and his potion teacher. Slughorn agreed to return, but only on the condition that Albus would look the other way with his Slug club. He didn’t have another option; he already failed in finding a new defence teacher and the Ministry had appointed one of their own. 

At least he didn’t have to kill Eileen and Robert himself. Lucius would take care of it. It would take him a couple of days to understand his small clue. Too long to recover Severus, but not enough for the couple to escape. 

Robert was a good friend, but he chose his wife wrong. When Albus asked for Severus' magical guardianship after he learnt the father disappeared, she didn't give it to him. Not because she didn't want to, but because she had already given it to someone else. Everything would be easier if he had got Severus’ guardianship all those years ago, but there was no point in dwelling on the past. Severus would be his, and this time no one would stop him. 

The flames of his fireplace changed colour, announcing it was time for the first meeting of the day. The minister would officially introduce him the new defence teacher. Dolores Umbridge. Albus had already made some inquiries, and even though it wasn’t ideal, the woman could be useful on the long term. It wasn’t perfect but it was what he got, and if nothing else, the woman would reinforce Harry’s loyalty to him. 

After Fudge, he would call Slughorn to remind him to be discreet with the entertainment of his parties. And later, Minerva would go to his office to discuss the involvement of the ministry in the school. They needed to agree in how much they would push, and to prepare themselves for eventualities. It would be a busy day, and he waited for the night with the anticipation of a child the day before Christmas. What would he have? The latest toy or just coal? But even if he got coal, he could work with it. There was no way to be disappointed that day. 

When the meetings were finally over, he couldn’t dismiss Minerva fast enough. He had to act collected. Nobody could know Severus was with him. For now, he would keep him away from the public. Just until he could trust he would not reveal the truth about their love. They wouldn’t understand, and Albus couldn’t afford not being understood. 

He apparated outside Robert’s house, and his excitement lasted until he reached the door. Something was wrong. He moved back and looked over the roof, his body burning with rage when he saw _it_. The Dark Mark was forming on the sky. He bit his tongue and clenched his fist to control himself. Malfoy arrived first. 

Albus ran to the back of the house, but the death eaters were already gone. The mark was bright green. Whoever cast it put a high amount of energy on it. A true believer. Malfoy was his first thought, but Lucius didn’t believe in Tom. Not anymore. Lucius was a coward and followed Voldemort because of fear, not admiration. Someone more loyal went with him. 

He needed to act quickly. The mark would be seen in the nearest town and the aurors would soon arrive. He wasn’t sure what information Robert kept in the house, but nobody could know Severus was there. He could only trust Severus would return by himself. He still trusted in the headmaster, after all. 

First thing he saw when he entered the house was Gerard’s body on the floor. The man was breathing, and made some sort of guttural sound that was probably a cry for help. Albus wrinkled his nose in disgust. A pool of blood and vomit surrounded him, bleeding through his eyes, nose and mouth. 

There was no sign of Eileen and Robert. The death eaters probably took them with them. Albus took a deep breath. It could still be fixed. 

The smell from a room reached his nose, and he followed it. The door was opened and the smell became stronger as he got closer. He looked inside and had to cover his nose and mouth. What the hell happened there? There was blood, and body waste. He would rescue Eileen and Robert just to torture them himself. What were they thinking? He allowed Robert to humiliate Severus, making sure he didn’t want to return, but that was extreme. Severus could get sick. And there was blood in that room as well. Did they kill Severus and then escaped? No, Gerard wouldn’t be on the sitting room if this were their doing, and there wouldn’t be such powerful Dark Mark outside. 

After hurriedly searching around the house, he concluded Severus wasn’t there. There was nothing else to do, except for erasing any evidence. Abandoning the house, he cast a fiendfyre as he heard the aurors apparating nearby. Before anyone could see him, he was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

‘It has been a long day’, thought Lord Voldemort as he turned on the shower and let the water wash over the filth of the day. 

In his mind, his last interaction with Severus played over and over. His words to him bordered on stupidity, but what else could he say? The way he clasped at Lucius’ robe, the way he looked at him. Severus was a child. A real child. What do you say to a child after such torture? 

Voldemort stepped out of the shower and wrapped a white towel around his waist. He spelled himself dry without looking and exited the bathroom. His robe lay at the end of bed. He prepared it himself before showering. He didn’t allow house-elves in his rooms. Too much power in those creatures and he wouldn’t give them more sharing his secrets with them. 

He dressed quickly, and with a last glance to the broken mirror in the corner, he headed to Severus’ bedroom. 

Knowing Lucius, he wouldn’t abandon his friend’s side unless he ordered it. But a tired Lucius had no use, and he wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he cared for the man. Lucius had grown on him. He saw Abraxas’ negligence and took advantage of it. He needed resources in his way to power, and Malfoy’s money and influence were perfect. But with time, he couldn’t avoid to see Lucius as his own child. 

Severus slept peaceful as Lucius muttered a spell, pointing with his wand at his head. A counter-curse. Patches of short black hair spread all over the scalp. At least one thing could be undone. 

Once finished, Lucius lifted his eyes, flinching when he noticed him. He bowed his head but didn’t stood. “My Lord.” 

“How is he?” He asked softly, not wanting to wake up the child. 

Lucius ran the tip of his finger over Severus’ cheek, a fond smile forming on his lips. “He is tough. He will recover.” 

Voldemort nodded, but he didn’t share Lucius’ optimism. Those things changed people; he would know. And the state of that room. Severus didn’t live there for a short time. They were likely weeks of rape and torture. ‘No more than two’, reminded him a voice in his head. It didn’t make it any better. Severus spent with them too long, and it would certainly leave a mark. 

“Go to shower and eat something, I will stay with him.” 

Lucius tensed, his fingers clenching around his wand so tightly that his knuckles stood out white. “No.” 

The reply caught him off guard. Lucius, who trembled with the sole mention of his name, defied him. He stared him into his eyes, coldly, but Lucius didn’t look away. He trembled, but Voldemort had not seen that fire in his eyes since the first war. That was the old Lucius talking, the one who would do anything to protect his family, even fighting the Dark Lord himself. 

“Pardon?” 

“Why do you want to stay with him _alone_?” 

Why? Because he cared for both of them. Saying it out loud would do no good to his reputation, though. And something else. _Alone_. Sudden realisation came to him, and his stomach twisted in disgust. How much did he messed it up, for his follower to believe he was capable of doing something like this? 

“Are you accusing me of something, Lucius?” He hissed dangerously. 

Lucius lowered his eyes, but still didn’t move. “No, my Lord.” 

“Go ahead, Lucius. Ask. It is better if we clarify this right now.” 

Lucius looked up again. “Eileen told Severus this was your doing.” 

“And he believed it? _You_ believed it?” Lucius doesn’t answer. He could understand it from Severus, after going through the trauma. But Lucius. Lucius was like his child. It hurt to hear it. “No, Lucius. I hadn’t asked you to find him, if this were my doing.” He studied Lucius, who didn’t seem convinced, so he tried with his last resource to remind him with who he was talking. “What does your stomach say?” 

_What does your stomach say._ It started like a joke. When he was twelve, Lucius came to him trying to stop a raid. He asked him not to do it, even if he didn’t know what ‘it’ was. He said it was some feeling in his stomach. Voldemort told him he would need something more than a stomach ache to cancel a mission. The mission failed, a group of aurors waited for them. It took five failed mission for him to give him the benefit of the doubt. Then, not without scepticism, he asked him what his stomach said about a death eater. Voldemort had already a suspicion but Lucius had never seen him before. His answer was immediate. A spy. Later he confirmed it. It was all he needed to convince Voldemort. 

Lucius studied him with his eyes. He didn’t speak for long minutes. Finally, he nodded and bowed, walking to the door. Voldemort faked not noticing when he put the surveillance spell on the room. 

He sat on Lucius’ place. It had been a long day. The worst was the nightmare wouldn’t end anytime soon. He wouldn’t be able to sleep well until they confirm Severus was fine, not only physically, but also mentally, and that was unlikely. 

Voldemort observed the sleeping shape curled at his side, in a bed too big for him and with a pyjama that was ‘his’. 

If there was something he regretted, it was the way he treated him when the boy confronted him with the truth. How he made him scream, and cry, and beg, when he came to him worried he had been cursed; for it was him who saw the first signal of his change. Because looking back, there was a change. A moment when his plans became irrational, and when killing a child made sense. He still could feel the insanity crawling under his skin, but he was slowly recovering his old mind. 

Not to be confused. Lord Voldemort wasn’t a good man. He never was. His enemies and those who failed him could attest to that. He had no mercy or remorse, but he had a soft spot for Severus. 

So young when he joined, barely fourteen. The youngest of his death eaters in that moment, he expected him to desert in a week. But it didn't happen, neither the first week nor the next six years, and he became one of his most valuable servants. Loyal, deathly, and so observant that it scared him. He did everything he ordered, never a complaint. He never asked for anything, and Voldemort had a hard time figuring out what the boy’s truly motivations were. He couldn’t understand Severus, even after all this time. 

But even observant Severus had his blind spots. Voldemort was no fool, and he knew since a long time that his Severus, was not his anymore. The moment he threatened his friend he lost Severus for good. 

He feared for a long time that the boy belonged to Dumbledore now, and in certain way he did, but Severus would always be Lucius’ boy. They may not share surnames, nor blood, but the devotion they showed to each other made them family. A family where Voldemort once belonged. 

It was back on his years in school, when he met Abraxas. They were no friends, but Abraxas recognised potential when he saw it on his classmate. He nurtured his skill, the same way Lucius did for Severus, but unlike those two, no emotional bond formed between the two of them. They parted ways when they graduated, and once he returned and started to work in Borgin and Burkes, Abraxas resigned he had made a mistake and moved on. 

Years later, Tom contacted him and informed him his plans. The man already had a boy by then. Lucius. Lucius had money, charisma, looks and more important, talent. It was impossible not to feel drawn to him, yet he was almost invisible for his father. It wasn’t hard to lure Lucius, to offer him companion and mentorship. To be what his father wasn’t. And with the years he grew fond to the boy. He took Abraxas’ place, and Lucius paid in kind. 

And then Severus came. 

Severus wasn’t like Lucius. He didn’t have anything to offer. No looks, no money, and he was unbearable according to his housemates. He was smart, they said, but only if he was interested enough. Also, he was friend with a mudblood. But Lucius insisted in giving him a chance, and Voldemort humoured him. They met, and once he looked into his black eyes, he knew he had to be his. 

“I should have killed you.” He sighed, his left hand softly petting the potion master’s head. “Why did it have to be you?” 

Any other would be dead, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill Severus. So, he played dumb and made as if he didn’t know about the change in Severus’ loyalties. 

Severus twisted at his side. Voldemort took away his hand immediately. After what the boy went through, he probably didn’t want to be touched. 

He wondered how old was Severus now. Was it too late to have him back? 

“No,” whimpered the boy, struggling against some imaginary form in his dream. The Dark Lord tried to shake his shoulder but Severus moved away, “No! Get out! No! Please, no” 

“Severus, wake up,” he said trying to reach for him, but failing. 

Lucius entered to the room and grabbed him. “Severus, wake up!” 

“Make him go away, please, make him go away.” Severus looked to the corner of the room, and was almost glued to Lucius. 

“There is no one there, Severus.” Lucius hugged him, but Severus kept begging to make whatever was at the corner go away. 

“ _Enervate,_ ” 

The spell was cast by Narcissa, who was at the door. 

Severus blinked a few times and hid his face in Lucius chest. “He was here. He was here.” 

“It is fine, you are safe now,” whispered Lucius. “Let’s get you cleaned, okay?” 

Still sobbing, Severus surrounded Lucius’ neck with his arms to be carried. It wasn’t until they left the bedroom that Voldemort noticed the smell of urine. A yellow stain had formed where Severus was and he could hear the shower running. 

Voldemort stood from the bed, and went downstairs. He didn’t want to embarrass Severus when he returned to the room, and he had to leave so the elves could change the bedding. 

“My Lord,” said Narcissa, who had left immediately after waking up Severus, probably thinking the same as him. 

Voldemort gestured her to sit, and he took the chair in front of her. “What can you tell me about Severus’ childhood?” 

He wanted to know for how long this had been happening. If Severus’ father did something like this, his fate would be the same as his ex-wife. 

“His mother left when he was twelve, and his father died when he was fourteen. He was abused by them. It is all I know.” 

“Sexually?” He asked. 

Narcissa smiled sadly. “Does it matter?” 

Voldemort shook his head. It didn’t. Not at this point. The man was already dead and didn’t represent a danger for them. 

He frowned. Narcissa said dead. When Lucius explained him his suspicions about Severus’ location, he was fairly sure he told him the father went missing in 1974. His curiosity piqued, he needed to know what really happened. 

“Look at me, Narcissa.” 

He would see it himself. 

Her mind was perfectly organised. He heard about the Black sisters and their skill in mental arts, and he had been in Bellatrix’s mind multiple times, but Narcissa was another thing. She guided him with ease, and every time he wanted to go somewhere else, she returned him to the right path. And the way she did it. At first Voldemort thought it was his own decision to stop looking. 

He stopped and tried to watch a memory. She let him. It was when Lucius arrived home after being tortured. He babbled a few things that Voldemort couldn’t understand. He went back to the original path of memories, and a muggle neighbourhood appeared into scene. 

Narcissa was in front of one of the houses and knocked at the door. A gesture of disgust on her face as her knuckles touched the wood. 

A man who looked like Severus, but with broader shoulders and a weight the boy had not had in all his life, opened the door. 

“Mister Snape,” said Narcissa with a polite smile, “I came here to talk about your son.” 

“I do not have a son,” spat the man and tried to close the door. 

Narcissa pointed the door with her wand and the man’s eyes widened. “Oh, I think you do. Do you mind if I enter so we can discuss your memory issues?” 

Without waiting for an invitation, Narcissa stepped inside. 

The scene changed. They stood one in front of the other in a dirty sitting room. Beer cans were scattered around the floor, and there was a bottle at the sofa’s side with still some liquid inside. But it wasn’t the unappealing surroundings what nauseated Voldemort. It was the smell. Alcohol, sweat and vomit. It was evident that Severus’ father had not opened a window in weeks, nor had he showered. 

Narcissa’s right eyebrow rose. “Well?” 

“I don’t know anything about the boy. He left.” Severus’ father clenched his fist, but his voice sounded bitter rather than angry. 

“I am well aware of that. Would you look me in the eye, please?” 

“I am not—” 

In the middle of his reply, the man’s eyes met Narcissa’s and his expression turned vacant. His arms fell at his sides, hanging and swinging back and forth, as if there were no muscles in them. Several minutes later, the legs gave up and the man collapsed on the floor. It took Voldemort a moment to realise he was dead. 

Voldemort abandoned Narcissa’s mind, trying to conceal his shock. Narcissa didn’t kill people, she healed them. It was the one thing all his inner circle agreed. It was the reason why he didn’t ask her to take the mark. Her uncorrupted soul differentiated her from the others. When had the world stopped making sense? 

Narcissa never belonged to the family. To _his_ family, because she did belong to his death eaters’ family. She was Lucius’ wife, Bellatrix’s sister, Regulus and Evan’s cousin. But she was nothing of Voldemort. Like a distant daughter in law. And now he realised of his mistake. He underestimated her. 

“You destroyed his mind from inside,” he said, as to confirm what he saw, and he silently congratulated himself for how controlled his voice sounded. 

“I did.” 

He was expecting a proud smirk, yet Narcissa seemed to be just stating a fact. She did kill the man. Period. Not something to be proud, not something to be ashamed. It just happened as it should. 

And there was something else. Why Lucius lied to him? Was he trying to protect her? Did he think he would ask her to join, or would send her to kill more people? No. Lucius would have taken the blame himself, and said he killed him. 

“Does Lucius know about this?” 

A flash of sadness passed through Narcissa’s eyes. “No, my Lord.” 

He understood what Narcissa was saying. Lucius, Severus and the Lestranges needed someone innocent to protect. Someone pure. Knowing Narcissa could and had killed would destroy their relationship and their spirit. They wouldn’t recriminate her, but hope would be lost. He couldn’t take away that from his death eaters. He had taken too much already. 

“I don’t see a reason to let him know.” He passed by the shocked woman and grabbed a cup, as not noticing her expression. Narcissa was what kept his inner circle united when he was gone. _When he failed them_. He owed her to keep her secret.


	14. Chapter 14

The morning sun woke him up. He turned around to avoid the light as he sleepily searched for his wand under the pillows, panicking when he couldn't find it. Memories of the night before came to his head, and he slightly relaxed at the recognition of the room. With a resigned sigh, he threw the blanket aside. He would have to close the curtains in the muggle way. 

He froze before he could put his feet on the floor. In front of the window, the Dark Lord stood with his hands clasped behind his back. It took him a second to react. With a jump, he got out of the bed, his legs unable to resist the sudden change of weight. He fell ungracefully to the floor. Groaning as only signal of pain, Severus managed to kneel before his master, who had rushed to his side. 

"You shouldn't have done that, Severus. You could have hurt yourself." 

If it weren’t for the Dark Lord’s bald head, Severus would swear Lucius had used polyjuice to play a joke on him. The gentle tone troubling him more than if he'd pointed with his wand and cursed him for his clumsiness. 

A hand was extended to him and he hesitantly accepted the help, his right ankle complaining when he tried to walk by himself. Not without effort he reached the bed and sat on there, feeling not for the first time completely useless without his wand. 

"A sprained ankle" Mumbled the Dark Lord to himself, fixing it quickly with a flick of his wand. 

"Thank you, master," said Severus, speaking for the first time since he woke up. "I apologise for the trouble" 

The Dark Lord stared thoughtful at him, tucking his hair behind his ear. "You do not need to apologise, Severus." 

His mind barely processed what he said. He walked the faster he could to the nearest mirror. A smile formed on his lips when he saw his hair grew during the night. It wasn't the same length as before, and judging for how dry it looked, it was a spell, but it would do the job until he could brew the hair-growing potion. 

"For merlin's sake Severus, I just healed you and you want to fall again? Had that shrinking potion affected your brain too?" 

"It's a de-ageing potion, and it seems to be one of its side effects." Still distracted playing with his hair, he forgot whom he was speaking to, biting his tongue when the white fingers closed around his shoulder. 

"Watch your tone." 

The dark lord had not yelled, nor lost his temper, but the warning was as terrifying as if he had done it, and maybe a little more. He sounded almost sane, resembling closely the man he once sold his soul, the one in who he believed. 

"My apologies," replied he promptly, trying to soothe his master’s ire. It wouldn't do much without the kneeling and the imploring, but before Severus could even think in that, Voldemort was already gone. 

He took a few more minutes to admire his new hair. It would be a nice change not having it greasy for once, and any hair was better than no hair at all. 

A house elf brought some of Draco’s old clothes and informed him the Dark Lord wanted to see him after breakfast. Severus unfolded the robe with a sense of dread, sighing in relief when he didn’t find childish motifs on it. He dressed quickly. The pain of the past days had almost vanished, but not the hunger. His stomach growled at the perspective of food, so he hurried to the kitchen. 

As he opened the door, the scent of coffee wafted towards him. His mouth watered at the sight of Lucius’ mug, but he well knew he wouldn’t be allowed to drink. 

“Good morning,” said Lucius, putting his coffee down. “How do you feel?” 

“Hungry,” 

He sat at Lucius’ side and a toast with jam materialised on the table. A glass with milk appeared a second later. Lucius waved his wand and three potions moved in front of him. Severus grabbed one by one and smelled them. A nourishment potion, another to stabilise his stomach so he could eat, and the rehydrating potion, which Lucius mixed with a glass of water. 

Severus turned to Lucius, deciding if it was worthy to ask for coffee, yet another thing caught his eye. A box of cereal on the counter. He stared yearningly at it for a second and then back at his toast, poking it with his finger unenthusiastically. The bread didn’t look tempting at all compared with the cereal. His stomach could hardly hold anything but bland food, but if he ate slow, perhaps he could just taste it. 

“I want cereal,” he said, pushing away the toast. 

To his surprise, a bowl and the box of cereal flew to him. He grabbed it quickly, fearing Lucius would change his mind if he gave him time. His bowl was almost full when Narcissa entered. He let the box go immediately. Narcissa went through a lot of trouble to heal him, and there he was, ruining her job for a childish craving. 

“I wasn’t doing anything.” 

Her eyes went to Lucius, who just shrugged. “He wanted cereal.” 

A small smile formed on her lips. “A little will not harm, but you have to drink your potions first.” 

Severus grinned triumphantly and drank the two potions slowly. He didn’t want to upset his stomach before he could taste the cereal. That would be probably his last meal before the Dark Lord killed him. When he got to the rehydrating potion, he made a face to Narcissa, who shook her head. He had to drink it. He sighed and took the glass to his mouth, sipping. Half-way through it, he looked at Narcissa again and she nodded. He was allowed to eat the cereal now. 

Half an hour later, he had managed to eat half of the bowl. He wanted to keep eating but his stomach was full. Narcissa took away the food before he could continue, reminding him he could eat again in two hours. Who knew if he was going to be alive in two hours? But he didn’t say anything to his friends. At least his last minutes alive would be good. He wasn’t going to die in a foul-smelled room in that house. 

He made his way to what once was Lucius’ study. A place where no one else but Severus was allowed to enter. Not even Narcissa. Not even Draco. Just Severus could pour himself a glass of whisky and browse among the books without having to ask. 

Those were old times. Now the place belonged the Dark Lord and Severus wouldn’t dare to turn the knob without knocking first. 

The door opened before his knuckles could touch the wood. The Dark Lord beckoned him to enter, his eyes on the parchment where he was taking notes. Severus held his breath as he stepped inside. He was scared. Lucius said Robert wasn’t a death eater but Severus didn’t believe him. Who else would he be working for, if it weren’t Voldemort? 

“My Lord,” said Severus bowing. 

The Dark Lord didn’t answer. He wrote a little more and marked the book in front of him with the parchment, before closing it and turning it around. 

Finally, the Dark Lord looked at Severus. “How are you feeling, Severus?” 

“Better,” he said hesitantly. Was he allowed to feel better? 

The Dark Lord nodded. “Explain me what happened.” 

Severus knew this was his only chance to avoid a destiny worse than death. If he proved he could still be useful as a spy, the Dark Lord would forget about his training at Robert’s hands. He had to try. 

“I had a potion accident the day of the last meeting and Dumbledore sent me with my mother as protection. He still trusts me, my Lord. If you send me back, I will find a way to report back to you.” 

“You are not going back, Severus. We will find another function for you. Are your knowledges intact?” 

Severus’ stomach clenched. _Another function_. He pushed down the nausea and focused in the Dark Lord’s last question. Were his knowledges intact? A ray of hope. Perhaps the Dark Lord wanted him for something more than sex. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as with Robert. 

“Yes, my Lord.” 

“Once you have a wand, we will test your skills in the potion lab. For now, you will focus in recovering.” 

“Yes, my lord.” The fear became stronger. What if he couldn’t brew? Would he also be punished for lying? He had to find a way to escape 

“You are dismissed, Severus.” 

And Severus left. His self-control only lasted until he was out of the Dark Lord’s sight. He ran to his room and locked the door behind, shaking uncontrollably as tears filled his eyes. He looked around, tempted to hide under the bed. Instead, he blinked several times and swallowed the knot in his throat. He had to run away and crying wouldn’t help. 

After half an hour, he had no clue of what to do. Lucius and Narcissa would be hold responsible if he suddenly disappeared. The Dark Lord would punish them hurting Draco, and Severus rather die than let him hurt Draco. 

He stepped back to the window when he heard the lock turning. He didn’t have time to check if he could jump before Lucius entered. His friend sat on the bed and patted the empty space at his side. Severus obeyed the silent order. He could tell by Lucius’ face that something was wrong. 

“What do you want to do, Severus?” Lucius stared intently at Severus, as if he were studying him. 

“What do I want to do about what?” 

“About your situation. About your mother,” replied Lucius. “The Dark Lord ordered to do as you wish. If you want to make it public...” 

“I do not,” said Severus, pulling his legs up to his chest, “but they hurt more children. If the aurors search inside the house, they will find evidence.” 

Lucius sighed and put a hand over his shoulder. “The house was burnt, Severus.” 

“You burnt it?” He felt betrayed, even though he knew it wasn’t Lucius’ fault. Fear swelled in his chest again. That proved the Dark Lord was responsible of everything. He erased the evidence so they couldn’t find the rest of his followers. 

“No, I was the last in leaving and the house was still there. Someone arrived after us. Before the aurors. Someone who wasn’t us.” 

“Can’t you understand?” Anger built inside of him, yet his voice sounded acute, as if he were going to cry. “It was him.” 

“It wasn’t him, Severus,” said Lucius tiredly. 

Severus bit his lower lip. He didn’t know if Lucius really believed it or if he was tricking him to save his family. Would Lucius sacrifice him for them? Lucius would sell anyone to protect his family, but Severus was part of his family. Or at least that was he wanted to believe, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. Lucius and Narcissa’s priority were Draco. Had the Dark Lord threatened Draco? 

“What do you want to do?” Lucius asked again. 

He clenched his fists. Was it a joke? Did the Dark Lord had some sort of sick sense of humour, asking him to decide when there wasn’t a choice? He couldn’t do anything. The proofs were burnt with the house, and going to the aurors would only humiliate him. Nobody would believe him. 

“Nothing,” he mumbled between clenched teeth. 

Lucius nodded. “Tomorrow, Draco returns to Hogwarts. I have to go with Narcissa and him if we want to avoid suspicion.” 

_Tomorrow_. If he only managed to make it to the station, he could sneak in the train. He would be at Hogwarts, safe again. Draco would be safe as well, and Lucius and Narcissa couldn’t be blamed because they weren’t there. Whoever was called to watch him over would be punished but Severus didn’t care about anyone else. 

It was easy to distract people, and if he kept the elves busy, they wouldn’t notice he escaped either. He had until next day to plan the last details. This was his one chance and he better used it. 

“What are you going to tell Draco?” Asked Severus, relaxing now he had a plan. 

“The truth. I want you to talk with him. Tell him only what you want him to know but no lies,” warned him Lucius. “Narcissa will bring him here when he arrives.” 

“Can I sleep? Before next meal?” He yawned to give more power to his words. He still had to figure out how to go to the station, and he had to be alone to think of that. 

Lucius stood and ruffled his hair. “Sleep well. I will check on you later.”


	15. Chapter 15

Severus was dozing with his face buried in the pillow between his arms when someone shook him. Although the touch was gentle, he opened his eyes with a start, finding Lucius at his side. His friend offered him a bowl with something that looked like porridge, and he blinked confused. Lucius let him figure out the obvious answer on his own. Severus sighed. It was time to eat again. 

“Thank you,” he said, taking the food and the spoon. He wasn’t really grateful. Last meal was only two hours earlier and he’d have much preferred to sleep. 

Lucius stayed with him until he ate everything and was about to go away with the empty dish when an elf informed them that Draco and Narcissa arrived. He waited until his wife and son crossed the door before excusing himself, shooting a warning look at him. _No lies_. Narcissa followed him a minute later, and Severus and Draco were left alone. 

Severus could see the thousands of questions forming in Draco’s mind, yet the boy stuck to basics and made mostly questions about his well-being. Severus was grateful he didn’t insist, probably hoping Severus would open up with time. Severus wouldn’t, but he would let him believe that if it avoided him a tantrum. 

After a while, the elf appeared again, calling Draco for lunch. When Draco asked him, he told him he just ate and wouldn’t go with him. Draco nodded and Severus could read the relief on his face. Otherwise, it would have been an awkward lunch. 

Severus lay on the bed again, fighting the tiredness that threatened to close his eyes. He couldn’t allow himself to sleep. He had only that afternoon to make a plan. 

He decided the best way to travel would be through floo. There was a pub ten minutes away from the station. The Malfoys always left one hour before the train’s departure, so it gave him fifty minutes to get rid of his babysitter and steal the floo powder. 

In the end, tiredness defeated him, and he slept all the afternoon. In the night, Lucius and Narcissa said ‘goodnight’ at him and that was the last he remembered. He knew he woke up several times in the night, but everything was blank until the morning. 

After his second meal of the day, he faked to be tired. Lucius kissed his forehead when he thought he fell slept and left him alone. Severus waited a little in case he returned. When he didn’t, he finally opened his eyes and walked to the door, pressing his ear to the wood and listening carefully to the other side. 

He silently abandoned the room and tiptoed to the end of the stairs. Living with two temperamental parents for so long taught him to move without making any noise, and Severus was confident no one saw him. 

Lucius was giving the last instructions to his two house-elves. They would watch him and Severus thanked his luck. Elves were easy, especially after Lucius told them to obey him in everything, believing himself so smart when he added an exception. They couldn’t let Severus to go out. Severus smiled, Lucius had never outsmarted him and this wouldn’t be the first time. 

The Malfoy apparated away and Severus took a deep breath before calling one of the elves. The poor beasts would be punished and probably killed for their mistake, but Severus didn’t have time to feel sorry. It was him or them. 

Severus tried his best imitation of Draco’s bratty voice. “Woody! Bring these ingredients to me.” 

He gave him a prepared list with ingredients almost impossible to find. They would have to go out of the country and not even with elf magic it would be easy. But the elves would do their best to follow orders, and by the time they accepted they couldn’t fulfil their master’s wishes, Severus would be already gone. 

The second elf hesitated when he saw his list, and Severus had to add a punishment to his orders. With tears on his big eyes, the elf bowed and obeyed. This time Severus did feel guilty. 

“You didn’t use to be so cruel with those creatures.” 

Severus jumped in surprise and quickly turned around, finding the Dark Lord staring curious at him. 

“My Lord,” he said falling to his knees. 

The Dark Lord waved his hand dismissively. “There is no need for that.” 

Severus stood and looked wary at him. He couldn’t think in a worst way to ruin his plans. Getting rid of the Dark Lord would be almost impossible. “I have learnt their place by now, my Lord.” 

The Dark Lord put a hand in his shoulder, indicating him to walk with him. “Between us, I have always thought their treatment is quite barbaric.” 

Severus stopped and stared at him in shock. Had the Dark Lord, the man who believed in torturing muggleborns for being lesser beings, showed concern about the treatment towards the house elves? 

“My Lord?” 

“Have you heard about the story of the elephant on the circus? How it was tied to a stick that it could easily break, yet it did not? The elephant got used to be tied to a stick and unable to break free as a youngster. When he finally was strong enough, he had given up. In my opinion, that is what keeps the elves bonded to their masters, just a thin rope attached to a weak stick.” 

Severus didn’t say anything. Was it a test? He was of the same opinion. Elves were more powerful than any other creature, they just seemed to ignore their real power. But this was Lord Voldemort, and if Severus said that they surpassed wizards in magic, it could be considered as opposing his cause. 

“What do you need those ingredients for?” 

Putting his thoughts about the story aside, Severus rushed to fabricate a credible excuse. “I am creating a new potion, and I wanted to organise the ingredients first. That way I will be ready when I get my new wand.” 

“I see,” said the Dark Lord, with his hand still on his shoulder. “Would you like a game of chess? You used to be good at it.” 

Severus started to panic. A game of chess with the Dark Lord could take hours. They used to play in the past, during the first war, and Severus remembered the Dark Lord was a slow player. But nobody in their right mind would refuse the Dark Lord, and he suspected the Dark Lord would find another way to have fun with him if he did. 

“Of course, my Lord,” he said, his mind already looking for a way to get out. 

After what felt like hours, he was still in front of the Dark Lord. He seemed to be losing on purpose but Severus didn’t dare to defeat his master. Holding back a sigh, he kept playing an eternal game that nobody wanted to win. Suddenly, the Dark Lord exposed his king. Severus was only one movement to win, and he knew he couldn’t keep delaying that moment. The Dark Lord was getting annoyed and had definitely made that movement on purpose. 

He didn’t look at his master’s eyes when he murmured ‘checkmate’ in a small whisper. 

“Congratulations,” said the Dark Lord dryly and rearranged the board. “Are you tired, Severus?” 

The right answer would be ‘no’, but he needed to leave. He was convalescent after all, and the Dark Lord might delay his punishment for ruining their game for a while if he faked to be sick. 

“I am sorry, my Lord.” 

“Go to sleep. We will have a rematch later.” 

“Yes, my Lord, thank you,” he said surprised, bowing and moving quickly to the door. 

Knowing Lucius, the floo powders would be in his and Narcissa’s bedroom, in an unreachable place for Severus. But he apparently forgot Severus could still do a few spells, and he easily broke into the bedroom. An _‘accio’_ sent the small bag flying from over the wardrobe to his hands and Severus decided to use the fireplace in their rooms. 

He glanced at the clock on the wall before throwing the powder to the fire. 10:50, he had to run.

* * *

Draco was eager to return school, not only because he would be free of the Dark Lord, but because things at home had turned weirder. Having his teacher de-aged around was confusing and Draco didn’t know how to act around him. The day before had been easy, with Snape sleeping most of the day, but their conversation was beyond uncomfortable. His parents asked him not to press him into revealing information, so he just knew he had a potion accident and was ‘away’ two weeks. With whom, he didn’t tell, but he could say he didn’t have a good time in there. 

Luckily, he was already waiting for the train, and soon he would see his friend and that hell of a summer would be forgotten. 

“Write us every week,” said his mother as she hugged him. She didn’t have to tell him; he would write every day. With the Dark Lord living at the manor, who knew how long they would be alive. 

“Yes, mother.” 

“Goodbye, son.” After these words, his father did the unthinkable. He hugged him in public. That had never happened before. All the displays of affection were confined to the privacy of their home. His eyes filled with tears, understanding the weight of the situation. He might not see his parents again. 

“Goodbye, father,” replied Draco, hugging him back, “I am going to miss you.” 

Before they could do something unforgivable in public, like crying, Draco walked with his things inside the train. 

Pansy and Blaise were already in a compartment. Draco joined them and they started to share stories about their summer. Or his friend did, because Draco didn’t have much to share. He spent most of the time hiding from the Dark Lord in his bedroom, he wasn’t allowed to participate in the death eaters meeting, and he couldn’t speak about his teacher. Draco loved his friends, but he knew how to keep a secret. 

“And what did you do, Draco?” Asked Blaise after finishing telling them about his trip to Italy. 

“Nothing. Mostly homework, and studying for my OWLs,” he said shrugging. 

“But something you have to see, or heard, after all you were with—” 

Pansy kicked Blaise’s shin and scowled at him. Draco glared at him as well, but he thought carefully his next words. He was almost sure his friends didn’t look forward to join the death eaters. Almost. 

“Everything is as it should be.” 

Blaise nodded and looked at the floor. An awkward silence formed in the compartment, until they heard some commotion outside. They get up quickly. He and Pansy were prefects and had to be there if something happened with the Slytherins. 

In the hallway, Ronald Weasley had a child grabbed by the collar of his shirt. Draco recognised that child. Snape. 

“What are you doing, Weasley?” He said in a low voice he saved only for occasions like this. 

Weasley let the boy go. “Do not interfere in this, Malfoy. This kid is too young to be at the train, and as a prefect, it is my duty to take him back with his parents.” 

Judging by the look of pain on Weasley’s face, there were more, but he didn’t have time to inquire. Snape used that moment to kick Weasley behind the knee and ran. Draco would have laughed when Weasley cursed, but there was nothing funny in his parents being killed because Snape escaped. 

He followed Snape, and caught him by the arm, pulling him into an empty compartment. 

“What do you believe you are doing?” 

“What does it look like?” Replied Snape, pulling his arm to free himself. 

Draco’s grip tightened. It would leave marks, but Snape was an adult. It didn’t really count as child abuse, did it? 

“Do you have any idea what the Dark Lord will do to my parents if you go away?” He hissed furious. 

“Nothing. It is not their fault. It was him who was in charge to keep me there.” 

“Because he has never blame others for his own mistakes,” he spat, and Snape looked at the floor. Draco realised then that Snape didn’t think about that. How his brilliant teacher could act so naive, and use a logic so absolute? But Snape’s logic was the one of a child. 

He loosened his grip but cast a locking charm at the door. “I will give you two options. Either you go with me, quietly, or you fight me and I carry you like a real child.” 

Snape glared at him, and then at the floor. He didn’t answer, he just walked to the door and waited there. Draco followed, and with a hand on his shoulder they left the compartment together. 

They walked outside, as many students followed with their eyes. He felt Snape tensing under his hand, and Draco wondered how humiliating was for him, to be escorted outside by someone twenty years younger, under the look of his former students, in a body too weak to break free. But Snape looked for it himself. He could have stayed calmly inside the manor and no one else would know about his accident. 

His parents looked at them surprised when they descended the train. 

“I brought you a present.” 

Snape glared at him one more time and walked to his father. With a last goodbye, he returned to the train, walking directly to the prefect’s carriage to avoid the uncomfortable questions from his friends.


	16. Chapter 16

Voldemort gulped down a glass of whisky, trying to drown the familiar feeling forming in his stomach. _Fear_. What else would it be? Fear was the only constant in his life. The orphanage. The war. Dumbledore. That was his childhood. A complete nightmare. And when he grew up and could lead a happy life, he started another war. He didn't regret it, neither the war nor the horcruxes which caused so much damage to his mind. Someone had to stop Dumbledore, and there was no one else. Lucius was too weak, Bellatrix in Azkaban, and Severus lived in the delusion that the old coot cared for him. Immortality was what allowed him to return and continue fighting. He couldn't regret that. 

But now his fear wasn't about himself. He feared for Severus. The boy was convinced his only escape was Dumbledore, and he would not rest until he was back with him. Voldemort couldn’t let that happen, but the only way to show Severus the headmaster’s true face was being honest with him. He would have to tell him what he had never told anyone. It had to be done, but Voldemort didn’t look forward to it. 

He focused on the task at hand. All he knew about the story was what he figured on his own when he realised the boy was gone. Had someone else seen him? If they did, Dumbledore would learn in no time about Severus. The Malfoys could be accused of kidnapping, and it would be hard to convince the world otherwise. They kept Severus’ accident a secret, and they _were_ holding him against his will, after all. 

Lucius had knelt in the middle of his study, his long hair falling over his face, waiting. Again, a rush of guilt flooded through him. Lucius was the first in entering, alone, wanting to placate him before it was time to see Narcissa or Severus. He would take the punishment for both of them if he could, or at least the worst part of it. 

The man lifted his head, but didn’t dare to meet his eyes. "My Lord, I—" 

Voldemort held up a hand. "Spare me the lie, Lucius. I know this was Severus' fault." 

"My Lord, he didn't—" 

"Yes, he did know what he was doing," Voldemort interrupted him again, "but do not worry, Severus will not be punished by me. Narcissa and you will be in charge of disciplining him. Something suitable for a child," he added when Lucius paled, allowing the tiniest note of annoyance into his voice. "Please, stand. What happened at the station?" 

Lucius obeyed, his face unreadable as every time he gave a report. “We are not sure. Draco brought him to us from inside the train. We apparate here immediately after. I have not had the chance to speak with him yet.” 

“The how does not matter now,” he mused, taking a finger to his chin. If Severus was found inside the train, everyone saw him. Dumbledore knew. An idea came to his mind. An idea nobody would like, not even himself. But it would give them some advantage, and it would keep Severus safe. First, he would confirm there was no other option, and then he would share it with Lucius. “What does Narcissa say about his condition? Is it reversible?” 

"His de-ageing is a product of a potion accident. According to Narcissa, it would have been easy to turn him back if it weren't for the trauma. We can change his body, but his mind is so broken that he will keep acting like a child." 

"All the time?" 

"It is hard to say. Most of the time, yes, but he seems to have some lapses of maturity. Narcissa said we will have to see if his mind returns on its own when he heals completely.” 

_If he heals completely_

“This cannot continue, Lucius. Everybody has seen him now; they will soon deduce his identity. We have to make everything public. Did Narcissa kept the register from when he arrived?” 

“Yes, my Lord, she did,” Lucius said hesitantly. 

“Call the aurors. Tell them you found Severus at the door. You didn’t see who left him but he was injured. Narcissa healed him and you didn’t call them earlier at his request. When you confirmed his mind regressed too, you called them.” 

“My Lord, Severus—” Lucius stopped himself, his eyes fixed on Voldemort’s right hand. 

Voldemort put his hand inside his pocket and took a subtly step back. “He will not like it, but he put himself in this situation, making a public apparition. And this will give us advantage. We will accuse Dumbledore of leaving a child with a paedophile.” 

Lucius stared a long time. He seemed to want to say something, but no word came from him. Finally, he nodded. “I understand, my Lord. Would this be all?” 

“Yes. Speak to Narcissa and call the aurors. Inform Severus to come in.” 

As soon as Lucius closed the door, he poured himself another glass of whisky and drank a few sips. His mouth felt dry, and his hands shook. Hopefully, the alcohol would fix both problems. He left the glass on the desk and paced around the room, tempted to lock the door and hide there the rest of his life. Severus could not even believe him, and everything would be a waste of time. And how much did he trust in Severus anyway? For all he knew, the man could use the new information to blackmail him. 

_Coward._ If Severus ended hurt, it would be his fault, because he was the coward who didn't warn him. He had to talk with him. He had to try. If someone would understand, that was Severus... and if he didn't, he always could wipe his memory. 

He had taken the drink to his lips again when he heard a soft knock at the door. Swallowing down the rest of the whisky, he opened it with a movement of his free hand. 

Severus entered in silence, his empty eyes fixed on the floor. Voldemort expected an apology, perhaps a little begging, but Severus did neither of those things. He seemed resigned to any dreadful fate Voldemort had prepared for him. 

“Do not kneel,” said Voldemort when he saw Severus bending his knee. He waved his hand towards one of the armchairs besides the fireplace. “Sit down.” 

As Severus sat, Voldemort glanced his own chair behind the desk. He decided against it, too nervous to stay still. It was better to stand, that way he could turn around to avoid looking at the boy. 

“I heard you are under the wrong impression that I am a paedophile," he said with a cold voice. He wanted to make clear that Severus was not only wrong, but he was also angering him with such assumptions. “It is for the best if we clarify here and now that I do not have any sexual desire for children,” 

The black eyes studied him for a long time, as deciding if he should ask or not. "And for me?" 

“No, Severus. I do not.” He waited patiently until the boy nodded, finally accepting his words. “Now that is clear, I expect we can move forward.” Severus rose from his seat, but Voldemort stopped him with a movement of his hand. “I did not say you were free to go, Severus.” 

The boy gripped the arm of the chair, probably expecting a punishment. “My apologies, my Lord.” 

“You still believe Dumbledore.” Voldemort was tired of pretending not to notice his spy’s true loyalties. It didn’t help anyone. He might lose Severus for good after this, but if he could make him doubt of the headmaster, so he was wary around him, it would be enough. “What I am going to tell you, I expect it stays between us.” 

Voldemort turned away from Severus, not waiting for an answer. He clasped his hands behind his back hoping Severus didn’t notice them shaking. “I used to believe his lies too. Back in my first years at Hogwarts. He used to call me to his office, or ask me to stay after class. It took me a while to trust him, and I don’t think I ever fully did.” Voldemort made a pause. He still was in time to stop this and send Severus on his way. But if he did that, it would be his fault if Severus was hurt again. So he forced himself to continue. “He didn’t give me the best of the impressions when we met for the first time, but I never thought he would go so far. I thought he had realised my worth and tried to make amends, I couldn’t be more wrong, 

“It was my fourth year.” Voldemort took a deep breath, trying to keep the emotions away. This was the first time he talked about this, and it was harder than he imagined. “He asked me to stay after class to discuss one of my essays. It wasn’t anything unusual until he put a hand over my thigh.” He walked to the door, still not looking at Severus. “I didn’t think much of that, though. I was fourteen, and things were different on those times. I blamed it as an innocent mistake that he would soon correct, once he noticed what he did. But he didn’t move his hand, and when it went up, I realised what he really wanted. I tried to leave.” Voldemort blinked away the tears, trying to keep his voice under control. Fear grew inside his chest, as if he were there again. “He told me, if I crossed that door, I could go forgetting about Hogwarts. And I believed him. He was the deputy headmaster and could make things happen. I had no muggle education, and there was a war in the muggle world. I didn’t have a chance there if I was expelled. Thus, I did not leave. I did not fight back. And he continued until I was in sixth year, 

“I graduate and went to travel,” he continued a little more calmed. “I had this stupid dream back then of becoming a teacher, and they were looking for a new Defence Professor. Had I known Dippet retired... But I didn’t. I was surprised when I asked to speak with the headmaster and they took me to Dumbledore. He told me the job was mine but he wanted something in exchange. I refused. He locked the door...” Voldemort closed his eyes, trying to keep the memories at bay. “You can imagine what he did.” He shook his head and walked back to his desk. “That is why I don’t want you to go back with Dumbledore. I have no doubt he knew what your stepfather was going to do, and he will do the same he did to me.” He looked at Severus again. “You have been through hell already, do not make my same mistake. Do not return to it on your own.” 

Severus stared at him, his face white as a paper. He seemed to have frozen, and blinked several times before speaking. 

“It wasn’t—” Severus gulped. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Nor was yours,” he said, collapsing in the desk chair. “It doesn’t make it any better, does it?”


	17. Chapter 17

Severus abandoned the study feeling numb. He didn’t even wait until the Dark Lord dismissed him. He just walked to his room and closed the door behind. Tears started to run down his cheeks. It started one by one, until a sob broke through his lips and was followed by many more. He cried. He cried until he had to run to the nearest toilet to empty his stomach. It couldn’t be truth. Dumbledore wouldn’t do something like that. 

But he knew the Dark Lord wasn’t lying. He was clearly ashamed of what happened, and he wouldn’t have open up about something like that just for Severus to pity him. The Dark Lord used many strategies to manipulate people, but not pity. 

He was barely aware when Narcissa picked him up and carried him to bed. She washed his face with a wet towel, even though he kept crying. “What happened, dear?” 

Severus sobbed louder and hid his face behind his knees. How could he explain his disappointment to Narcissa? He would have to confess he was working with Dumbledore in the first place, and they would fight. The Malfoys trusted him, and he was betraying them. And even if she forgave him, he couldn’t tell her about the Dark Lord. 

“Did he hurt you?” 

Severus shook his head. He was hurt, but he couldn’t hold the Dark Lord responsible for that. If someone was to blame, that was Dumbledore. 

“I don’t want to go back,” he said weakly. 

“To the study?” 

“Dumbledore.” 

Narcissa kissed his hairs. “You don’t have to return there, dear, not ever. You are safe here.” 

An elf appeared and informed them the aurors arrived. His blood froze when he heard the word ‘auror’. Lucius said they were going to keep quiet, but there was no other reason for them to be there. 

“No!” He said separating from her. “No!” 

“Severus, we no longer have an option, everyone saw you at the station.” 

“But Lucius promised!” 

“Things changed.” 

“Get out.” 

“Severus…” 

“Get out!” 

Narcissa shook her head and left with a sigh. Severus waited until he heard the click of the lock before moving. He went to the bathroom to wash his face, not bothering in trying the door. Even if he managed to open it, where would he go? Dumbledore was not an option and he didn’t have more friends. There was nowhere to escape. 

He stared at his reflection the mirror. His eyes were swollen and red from crying. Pathetic. His fists clenched at his sides, but as he lifted one to punch the glass, he stopped himself. The aurors would want to speak with him, and if he cut himself, he could get the Malfoys in trouble. He was angry, but not as angry as to put them in jail for child abuse. 

Someone knocked on the door. Severus went into the bedroom and a minute later, Lucius entered with Kingsley Shacklebolt. All his anger returned at once. He crossed his arms and glared at them. 

“I will be outside if you need me,” said Lucius, leaving the room. 

“May I sit?” Asked Shacklebolt, but Severus didn’t answer. He sat on the chair in front of the desk anyway. “Do you remember who I am, Severus?” 

When he spoke, it sounded as if he was spitting the words. “You are Kingsley Shacklebolt, auror and loyal pet of Dumbledore.” 

The man seemed taken aback with his answer, but he collected himself quickly. “How old are you, Severus?” 

“Thirty-five, but you already know that.” 

“Yes, I do,” replied the man calmly, “but I need to know how much you remember.” 

“I know everything, and no, you can tell Dumbledore his secrets are safe with me.” Shacklebolt didn’t have to tell him what he was thinking. He would fear the same if the roles were reversed. But no, he wasn’t going to betray the Order. Dumbledore might be a monster, but so was Voldemort. 

“Is Malfoy treating you well?” 

“Why do you care?” 

“I care,” said Shacklebolt with a reassuring smile, “and I have the power to take you away from them if your safety is at risk. We can protect you, Severus.” 

“And where would you take me? To an orphanage? Back with Dumbledore?” 

“Whatever you decide.” Shacklebolt stood and walked closer, stopping when Severus took a step back. “We are in a very confusing situation and your opinion will certainly matter.” Shacklebolt waited in silence but Severus didn’t answer. “Would you tell me about your mother.” 

“I don’t remember,” he said between clenched teeth. The Malfoys had no right to tell Shacklebolt what happened. 

“You don’t remember your mother?” He asked frowning. When Severus didn’t answer, he continued. “Were you with her before arriving here?” More silence. “How did you arrive there?” 

“I. Don’t. Remember.” Severus punctuated each word, trying to make clear he wouldn’t talk about it. 

“What is the last you remember?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Do you remember the accident?” Shacklebolt tried again. “Do you remember Albus?” 

Severus scowled as only answer. 

“Can you tell me how you arrived with your mother?” 

There was a long pause, with Severus glaring at Shacklebolt all the time. After what seemed like hours, the man gave up and left. 

Lucius entered again. Severus’ hateful expression didn’t change. His friend knelt in front of him and put his hands over his shoulders. “I know you are angry, but make an effort. You can keep being angry once we return from St. Mungo.” 

“St. Mungo?” 

“Yes. We are required by law to take you there, so they can check you are in good health. The press will surely be there. We will talk about everything once we return.” 

Severus didn’t want to go. He hated hospitals. But he knew he didn’t have an option. He didn’t want to go to an orphanage, nor return with Dumbledore now he knew what the headmaster did. 

And Lucius looked so tired. Not even the glamour charm hid the bags under his eyes. He had been an ungrateful brat for too long. The Malfoys healed him and took him in. Yes, he didn’t want aurors, but he destroyed his secret himself going to the station. Now he must face consequences and behave. 

“Okay,” he said and Lucius’ face showed relief. 

Lucius called a house elf and ordered it to bring one of Draco’s cloak. He followed Lucius downstairs where Narcissa and Shacklebolt waited for them. Narcissa gave him a smile as Lucius helped him to put on his cloak. She gestured to him to get closer and with a hand surrounding him, they were the first in apparate in the hospital. 

He clung to Narcissa’s clothes as the wave of nausea went away. When he finally could open his eyes, he did it for just a second before the flash of a camera blinded him. Two aurors he had not seen earlier kept the people away, pointing them a private room that was too far away from the apparition point in Severus’ opinion. 

As they walked through the long hallway, Severus kept his eyes on the floor. He was aware he didn’t look like Severus Snape, but how long it would take to the press to learn about his true identity? 

They went into a white room, and Lucius guided him to the bed. Shacklebolt explained the situation to the healer. He gives the man a parchment mostly written in red. Probably the register of his injuries, from the day he arrived. The man frowned and stared at him for a while. They asked them to wait there with Lucius while Narcissa, Shacklebolt and the healer talked outside. He tried to read their lips, but he couldn’t at that distance. Lucius squeezed his shoulder in reassurance, and Severus rested his head on him as he continued watching. 

Shacklebolt looked clueless while Narcissa and the healer talked. Severus supposed they were speaking something technical because she showed them something in the parchment. Finally, the man nodded and went away. 

She returned to the room. “They will do some medical test, and then they will make you some questions,” informed Narcissa, sitting at the other side in the bed. She looked at Lucius. “They want to speak with us as well.” 

Lucius nodded. “After the examination.” 

“It is what I said to them. I asked for a witness, to make sure they don’t change anything. Is that fine with you?” 

Severus nodded without looking. His eyes were fixed outside the room, watching Shacklebolt. He knew the moment he got out of his sight, he would send a patronus to Dumbledore. 

_Dumbledore will come._

The thought only brought him anger. He wanted explanations. He wanted the true. That is why he wouldn’t say anything to Lucius and Narcissa. Dumbledore would go when Lucius and Narcissa went to talk with the doctor, so they could speak alone. 

He also knew that could be his way out. If he wanted to go back with Dumbledore, that would be the moment. But Severus won’t try to escape again. There is nothing from what to escape. Had the Dark Lord wanted to do anything to him, he would have already done it. And he would try a more active way to keep him locked. Something in the Dark Lord changed. He was saner. 

But he couldn’t forget everything he did. They need to take down both Voldemort and Dumbledore. 

_If Dumbledore is really guilty._

He believed the Dark Lord, but perhaps Dumbledore was under imperius or another compulsion spell. He had to give him the benefit of doubt. He owed him at least that after all their years of friendship.


End file.
